REFLECTION (CAMREN Lauren Jauregui and Camila Cabello)
by NotMuchofaReader
Summary: It's been 6 years since Lauren Jauregui and Camila Cabello had last seen each other. What happens when Lauren can no longer avoid Camila and she sees the brown eyed girl who's always had her heart after 6 years. CAMREN.
1. 6 years

**First Fanfic! Enjoy! My Style of writing is all over the place! **

**Italics: Thoughts(I tried to make it as clear as possible who is thinking it at the time).**

*****Backstage at the Grammys*** **

_Here I am on the biggest stage of my career at 26 years of age, why am I so nervous? You now why you're so nervous. SHE would be here. It had been 6 years. 6 years since our group dismantled. 6 years since I last saw her face…those eyes. Who could ever forget those hypnotic dark brown eyes? I wasn't purposely trying to avoid her all these years. Every time I was invited to an award show or celebrity party, with her attending as well, I just happen to have something come up. Every single TIME Jauregui? Yes! So I forced myself to believe. I peeked out the curtain, not an empty seat in the house. HERE WE GO! _

Lauren finished her first song. Applause rang throughout Staples Center and she scanned the crowd with her green eyes. When she saw, for lack of a better word, the person she was dating's face. Amber looked flawless tonight she thought. She was smiling from ear to ear when Lauren gave her a quick wink. They had been dating for about 8 months on and off. Amber was great, however, Lauren couldn't fully commit. Lauren wasn't seeing anyone else, she just hasn't been able to commit since…and that's when she saw her for the first time…it had been 6 years-Karla Camila Cabello.

She was sitting two rows behind Amber. She looked beautiful as ever, with her dark brown eyes locking with Lauren's narrowed green eyes. Seconds felt like hours as Lauren found herself unable to turn away from Camila's gaze. The arena seemed quiet in that moment. Their eye contact was broken when Lauren heard her producer/bandmate/bestfriend yell into the microphone.

"Did you guys enjoy that last song or what?" Dylan yelled. The crowd cheered.

Lauren gave Dylan a look he had only seen whenever she was vulnerable. He simply nodded his head in approval of whatever she wanted to sing next.

"Okay, well this next song is for…this is for…well, you know who you are. This is for you." Lauren said as she looked past a smiling Amber, quickly glancing into Camila's brown eyes.

She took a look at Dylan and he started playing the piano as Lauren starts singing.

"…you are, you are, the love of my life….girl you're my reflection, all I see is you, my reflection, in everything I do, you're my reflection and all I see is you, my reflection in everything I do. OooOOooo, ooOOOoooo, you are, you are the love of my life, you are, you are the love of my life…." Lauren sang as she stared into brown eyes and quickly turned her attention to the rest of the crown once she had realized, who she had been staring at throughout the entire song she just sang.

*****Backstage in Lauren's Dressing Room*****

_Did she see me? Of course she saw YOU! YOU were on stage singing for crying out loud! Why am I so nervous? You know why you're nervous! Gosh she looks so beautiful with her long dark hair, elegant, yet simply flowing past her shoulders as if perfectly caressing her skin. Her eyes, I've never seen anything more beautiful than those brown eyes. _

Lauren was torn from her thoughts abruptly when she heard a familiar voice.

"Artist of the year…congrats LoLo."

Lauren slowly turned around to face the girl-NO-woman she hadn't seen in 6 years.

"Thanks Camz."

Lauren looked Camila up and down. _She's absolutely breathtaking. _

Camila noticed Lauren checking her out.

_I can't believe it's been 6 years! Every time I've tried to purposely run into Lauren at an award show or celebrity party, she always ended up cancelling her appearance because something always came up. We ended because…I don't really know why we ended. Everything just feels so unfinished. _

"That last song, Mirrors right? You sang it beautifully and well the lyrics…" Camila paused while running her hand through her dark brown hair, a bit nervous. "…I felt it, lets just say that." She finished and looked directly into Lauren's green eyes. "Amber's a lucky girl, having such a beautiful song written for her." She said with a slight smile. She felt her heart cringe at the thought of Lauren loving someone the way she once loved her, or worse, more than she loved her.

"That wasn't forrr…" Lauren was interrupted before she could get her sentence out.

_That wasn't forrr, what? What was Lauren going to say!_

"Camila!" Dylan ran towards her and picked her up spinning her tiny body round and round.

_I've missed him so much!_

"Dylan put me down!" Camila said as she giggled uncontrollably. "Gosh, I've missed you!"

"Miss you too, shorty!" He said as he winked at her.

Lauren shot him the **REALLLYYY, Dylan, REALLLY?! **Look.

"So, Camila, you ever going to let me produce for you or what?" he asked her as he wiggled his face with a smile.

"Well Dylan" Camila said with her spunky attitude. "It's your lucky day, I'll be in the studio tomorrow, would you like to join me?"

_Is it me or has Lauren not taken her eyes off me? _

"Tomorrow it is!" Dylan replied with a smile on his face. He turned his attention to Lauren.

"Laur, before I forget, Amber wanted me to tell you that you did a wonderful job, she loves you and she'll call you when her plane lands in Madrid." Dylan said with his eyes to the ceiling trying not to forget the message.

_He couldn't wait to tell her this until AFTER I left. _

Lauren shot him the **ARE YOU KIDDING! REALLY, Dylan, REALLLY?!** Look.

"ahh, thanks Dylan." Lauren said in a nervous voice.

_Why does she sound so nervous? Maybe it's awkward since I'm here. I can't believe she's with MY Lolo. _

"I better get going, I'll shoot you a text tomorrow Dylan, 9am, don't be late." Camila said with her head tilted.

"Sounds good!" Dylan said as he winked at Camila walking past her down the hall.

_I better get out of here before my heartstrings get the best of me. _

"I better get going. Congrats again Lo. Hopefully it won't be another 6 years until we see each other again." Camila said joking as she felt her heart stop for a moment. Camila turned to walk towards the door.

"Camz wait!" Lauren lunged and reached for Camila's hand gently spinning the browned eyed girl towards her.

"Yes, Lolo?"

"Would it be okay if I came to your recording session tomorrow? I mean, you know Dylan might need the support of his best friend." Lauren said looking down as she anxiously waited for Camila's reply.

"Sure Lolo, that'd be nice, kind of like old times." She said with a smile. "…Lo…"

"Yeah, Camz?"

Lauren and Camila stared intensely into each other's eyes, just inches apart from each other.

"You can let go of me now…I mean, since I should really get going since I have to be up early tomorrow." Camila said unsurely as she looked into green eyes.

Lauren shook her head to break away from those hypnotic brown eyes.

"Yeah! Sorry about that, I just…I don't know. I'll see you tomorrow." She said nervously with a smile.

"Have a good night Lolo." Camila didn't mean to, but she said it with a seductive voice as she exited Lauren's dressing room with a smirk.

_That brown-eyed girl is going to be the death of me. _


	2. Mirrors

*****Camila's House*****

Dylan pulled up to a beautiful mansion atop a cliff with views of the entire coast that you could see for miles and miles. You can see the ocean from the driveway. The sun kissing the blue-green surface; the seagulls flying by and pelicans swooping down into the water was a sight to see.

_Well done Camila, well done. We are definitely NOT in L.A. Absolutely beautiful. _

He looked up to see a familiar face leaning up against gigantic double doors.

"Hey you! Right on time." Camila said with a smile as she approached her friend and gave him a huge, warm-welcoming hug. "Like what you see?" She asked looking at the views that hugged her home.

"We are definitely not in Los Angeles anymore. Wow is all I can say." He said unable to tear his eyes from the blue-green coast.

"Come on…" she said looping her arm with his. "Let me show you around."

They walked throughout the entire house through the grand living room that lead straight through to the balcony that had the grandest view of the ocean. It left Dylan breathless.

"So this is Newport Coast?" Dylan asked while nodding his head in approval as he stared into the ocean. "How'd you end up here? After you and Derrree…." Dylan turned to Camila with an apologetic look for bringing up her ex fiancé.

"It's okay Dylan, you can say Derek. I broke off the engagement, remember?" Camila said in an indifferent tone staring into the ocean where the sun slightly kissed it.

_**++Flashback: 2 years ago++**_

_Jason picked up an announcement from the pile of new mail that sat on their granite counter top in the kitchen they had just received and looked blankly and turned to his longtime friend and music partner Dylan. _

"_This looks fancy." Jason said as he looked at Dylan with a concerned look. _

"_Who's it from?" Dylan asked._

"_My cousin." Jason replied._

"_Which cousin? You have a lot of cousins Jason!" Dylan said in angst. _

"_Really?" Jason glared at Dylan. "Camila."_

_Jason read the announcement quietly, but loud enough for Dylan to hear._

_Dylan took a quick look over his shoulder before asking, "Does Lauren know about this?" he asked Jason in a whisper._

"_Do I know about what? " Lauren said with a curious look on her face. _

_She stood there waiting for a reply staring at both Jason and Dylan. She took a drink out of her water bottle as she had just returned from her evening jog. _

"_Do I know about WHAT?" she asked again, this time with sharpness in her voice. _

"_Camila's engaged Lauren." Jason finally replied as he handed her the announcement._

_She simply read the names. _

**::Karla Camila Cabello + Derek Michael Trenton::**

_She placed the announcement down and began walking towards the door. _

"_Laur…wait!" Jason tried to yell, but the girl already slammed the door behind her. _

"_Let her go…I know my best friend, let her go, she needs some time." Dylan said in a sad voice. _

_**9hrs later.**_

"_It's 3am Dylan, maybe we should look for her." Jason said with concern in his voice when they heard the crack of the front door. _

_They both stood up as Lauren walked in with red puffy eyes. She had been crying; anyone would be able to tell just by glancing at her. It was silent for a few minutes. The two of them waited for her to break the silence. _

"_Studio." She said softly. _

_They both followed her to the back of the house where their studio was located. They used this studio for most of their recordings. When they entered the large room, Lauren was already in the booth. _

"_Play that piano beat from the other day." She said as she placed her headphones on her ears. _

_Dylan nodded. _

**Cups of the Rose  
The girls in my old phone  
I should call one and go home  
I've been in this club too long  
The woman that I would try  
Is happy with a good guy  
But I've been drinking so much  
That I'ma call her anyway and say**

"**F-ck that new guy that you love so bad  
I know you still think about the times we had"**

**I say "f-ck that new guy that you think you found  
And since you picked up I know he's not around oh no"**

**I'm just sayin', you could do better  
Tell me have you heard that lately?  
I'm just sayin' you could do better  
And I'll start hatin', only if you make me**

**Uh, cups of the XO  
All my people been here  
I see all of her friends here  
Guess she don't have the time to kick it no more  
Flights in the morning  
What you doing that's so important?  
I've been drinking so much  
That I'ma call you anyway and say**

"**F-ck that new guy that you love so bad  
I know you still think about the times we had"  
I say "f-ck that new guy that you think you found  
And since you picked up I know he's not around"**

**I'm just sayin', you could do better**  
**Tell me have you heard that lately**  
**I'm just sayin' you could do better**  
**And I'll start hatin', only if you make me**

_Dylan and Jason watched Lauren take off her headphones and walk out of the recording booth without saying a word. They stared at each other in complete awe of what they just saw and heard come out of the 24 year old. Every word filled with a deeper emotion than the last. They could feel the hurt spilling through her voice. _

_**++End of Flashback++**_

**~BUZZ-BUZZ~**

His attention was finally broken from the ocean as Dylan pulled out his phone to take a look at the text message he had received.

"Lauren should be here in about an hour, maybe we should get started." Dylan said making his way back towards the living room. He stopped to look over his shoulder. "…Camila…"

She was still staring out into the ocean.

_Lolo will be here in an about an hour, in my house. _

"Coming." She replied in the softest voice as they both headed to the back house where her private studio was located.

They entered the recording studio and it was big and spacious. Anything Grammy winning artist could every need was in that studio.

"So Mila, what did you have in mind." Dylan asked.

"You tell me genius! I mean _Mirrors_ was nothing short of amazing." Camila said with admiration and a slight hint of hurt in her voice. "It was produced beautifully." She continued, looking down at the keys in front of her fiddling with her fingers. It killed her to know that Lauren wrote that song for someone else; to think someone else was the love of her life.

_I hope he didn't hear that in my voice. _

"That was 10 percent me and 90 percent Lauren. That girl is unbelievable." He said looking around the studio. "It was about time she finished that song. I mean I've seen Lauren finish a song in 5 minutes, but 7 years! Come on! Okay, okay…I gotta cut her some slack. That second part of that song is ridiculously amazing!"

Camila's head popped up looking at him in confusing as Dylan continued to look around the studio.

"Wait, did you say 7 years ago? And it was released about 4 months ago? When did you two finish the song?"

"About 8 months ago." He said taking a seat in front of the control panels.

_7 years ago. Lolo was with ME 7 years ago, and she just finished the song 8 months ago. Did she write that song about me? Does she still have feelings for me? _

Camila's heart began to race as the thought flooded her entire body.

~DING-DING-DING~

"Mila…" Dylan looked at a girl who was obviously lost in her own thought. "Mila…Camila!"

"Yeah, what?" Camila shook her head and met Dylan's eyes.

"The door Mila I think Laur is here."

"I'll get her." She said still a little lost in her thoughts as she walked out of the studio towards the fron double doors.


	3. SHE

*****Camila's House*****

Camila walked towards the front double doors, took a deep breath and finally opened the door.

"Jason!" She scream in her high pitched voice in surprise and jumped towards her cousin to give him a hug. "What are you doing here?" She squealed, hugging him again.

"Well, I was flying into L.A. tomorrow to work with Lauren anyways, and when Dylan called me last night to let me know how the performance had gone, he told me you guys would be collaborating. There was no way I was missing that." He said with a smirk. "So I changed my flight to Orange County instead, no biggie." He smiled.

Jason and Lauren had managed to stay close throughout the years. He had been producing music for both Camila and Lauren.

"Dylan in the studio?" He said walking towards the back of the house as he dropped his luggage.

"Yeah! I guess it's just one big party today huh?" She said sarcastically with a smile.

Both Dylan and Jason sat in chairs watching Camila pace back and forth bopping her head to the beat the two boys had just put together. She was enjoying every second of it and knew which lyrics she wanted to intertwine with the music. Camila walked into the booth and placed her headphones on her ears.

"Play the track again." She said swaying her head to the music with a smile on her face.

She closed her eyes and started singing.

**She has no problem with secrets She knows how to keep them She never felt the need to let them show And I've had no trouble with speaking Or trusting my instincts That maybe this is one that I should know But as I'm waiting there The devil on my shoulder stares Laughing that the one thing I can't get Is what I need**

**She, She is the words that I can't find How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive And I couldn't speak I couldn't breathe to save my life All of my chances swim like sinking ships This time it's it I'll drown or make her mine**

**My vocal chords have been fighting**

**My mouth likes to spite me**

**It never says the words that come to mind**

**I brought a stick to a gun fight**

**And I'm stuck with my tongue tied**

**I run but I can't hide what's always there is**

Both of them absolutely lost in how smoothly Camila delivered each lyric. She kept her eyes closed with one hand holding her headphones to her ears and her other hand guiding each note she sang completely lost in her own world.

**~BUZZ-BUZZ~**

"Did you hear that?" Jason asked looking at Dylan.

"It's probably Lauren." Dylan replied so lost in the music and Camila's lyrics that he just kept bopping his head as he watched her continue to sing.

"I'll grab her." Jason said walking towards the front door.

Jason opened the door to see Lauren with a surprised look on her face.

"Jasooo-" she began to say and was quickly interrupted as he grabbed her arm and dragged her to the back of the house into the studio.

"Sorry Laur, but Mila is laying down a song right now and I don't want to miss it." Jason said walking a bit faster than before dragging Lauren along.

_WOW this house is gorgeous. All this for tiny Camz, no way. She's such a a chicken! She wouldln't stay here along…maybe she doesn't live alone._

Lauren's heart ached with the thought of someone shacking up with Camila in this gorgeouse house. She took a quick look around as they both entered the studio. Jason took the seat next to Dylan as Lauren walked in slowly and stood behind them. She gave Dylan a quick pat on his shoulder to let him know she was there. Her full attention was already on Camila before she even walked into the studio as she heard her beautiful voice; now her green eyes took control and her gaze landed on the beautiful dark haired girl singing in the booth.

_Camz looks so beautiful singing; I love the way she gets so completely lost in what she's singing. _

Lauren found herself engulfed in all of Karla Camila Cabello as she bit her bottom lip. Her long dark brown her tucked messily behind one of her ears and the rest of her wavy her flowing downwards to the side of her beautiful face. Her lips releasing the most beautiful sound she has ever heard. Even with her eyes closed, she could never forget about those brown eyes of her.

**She, She is the words that I can't find How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive And I couldn't speak I couldn't breathe to save my life All of my chances swim like sinking ships This time it's it I'll drown or make her mine**

**I can see these things I'd do But never seem to follow through She, She is the words that I can't find How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive**

**She, She is the words that I can't find How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive And I couldn't speak I couldn't breathe to save my life All of my chances swim like sinking ships This time it's it I'll drown or make her mine**

**I couldn't speak I couldn't breathe to save my life All of my chances swim like sinking ships This time it's it I'll drown or make her mine**

_Is Camila singing about a girl? Did I hear that right? Yes YOU did. She's said 'SHE' multiple times already. Maybe I'm wrong…nooo, I know what I heard. _

Camila slowly opened her eyes as she finished the final note. With her left hand moving downwards to guide her through the final note. Her eyes quickly locking with green eyes and for a second she just stood there with a small innocent and somewhat embarrassed smile on her face. She didn't expect Lauren to be standing there in the studio listening to every word she had just sung. Camila took her headphones off and walked outside the booth.

"Very nice Camila!" Dylan said walking over to her giving her a high five! "How about a meal break and maybe we can move this jam sesh to the balcony? It is a beautiful day after all! "

"Thanks!" She said with a smile. "Kitchen's that way." She said pointing.

"Loving the feel of that track Mila," Jason said to his cousin.

"Thanks Jay." She said with a goofy look she flashed her cousin.

"Alright, well I'm a bit hungry too, Dylan leggggoo!" He said with excitement as they both made their way towards the kitchen. "We'll move the panel and keyboard outside after we grab a bite." He yelled over his shoulder.

Lauren still hadn't said one word. She was silent and not for a second did she take her eyes off of Camila.

"Look who finally decided to show up." Camila said playfully as she stepped towards the taller girl in front of her to give her a hug.

Camila didn't mean to, but she found her arms flung around Lauren's neck as she buried her face into her shoulders. Lauren returned her embrace as she wrapped her arms around her waist. It just happened so naturally for the both of them.

"That was pretty amazing Camz." She whispered softly on top of Camila's brown hair.

Lauren let out a sigh.

_Why does she have to smell so goooood._

They finally broke from their embraced and were face-to-face just inches from each other.

"Thanks Lolo," she said as she blushed. "I've been wanting to lay that track down for awhile now."

"What's it called again?" Lauren asked curiously; her eyes a little darker shade of green than before.

"Um…_SHE_." Camila replied.

"_SHE_?"

"Yup." Camila said breaking their eye contact to walk towards the mic to grab it.

"You wrote that song? And it's about a girl?" Lauren asked, her green eyes not leaving the shorter girl walking away from her.

"I sure did." Camila said instantaneously without hesitation as she turned around to meet green eyes just inches away from her. "Why do you look so surprised? Out of everyone in this entire world, you should be the last person surprised that I'm singing about a girl!" The brown-eyed girl said with a hint of hurt and sharpness as she walked past Lauren towards the couch in the studio as she sat down.

"I…I…" Lauren stuttered in shock to see the hurt on Camila's face. "I didn't mean to offend you Camz, it's just when we were toge-." Lauren caught herself before she finished what she was about to say.

Camila lifted her head as she heard the words partially leave Lauren's mouth. Lauren sat next to her and looked intensely into dark brown eyes as if trying to see into her soul, her heart. At that moment Lauren wanted to know what was going on in that head of hers as Camila stayed silent.

"I'm sorry Camz, I didn't mean anything by it." She said softly as she moved a stray hair from Camila's face and tucked it behind her ear. "The song, it's beautiful." She said with an admiring smile. "Can't wait to hear the rest of your EP."

Camila took a deep breathe before standing up.

_Is SHE trying to kill me with that smile, oh and let's not get started on those green eyes of hers._

"Well, if you and Dylan wanted to stay, I'm performing my songs tomorrow at the House of Blues. You two could just stay here; I do have a few extra bedrooms." Camila said flashing her gorgeous smile and wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

_Is this a good idea? Come on Lauren…think. She's waiting for you to respond. How can I say NO to that face…that smile…those eyes. _

"Yeah, I guess we could do that." Lauren said softly as she let out an ear-to-ear smile.


	4. City Lights

*****Camila's House Later That Night*****

It was 2AM and she found herself eyes wide open. Lauren kept tossing and turning; she couldn't sleep. Her mind was flooded with memories of Camila.

_**++Flashback: 9 years ago ++**_

Lauren's legs were propped up along her headboard, feet pointed towards the ceiling as her body lay on the bed. She had her headphones on listening to music contemplating emotions and feelings she's never had before.

Earlier that night during the car ride home from one of Fifth Harmony's interviews, something different happened. Camila and Lauren sat in the back row, per usual. Camila laid across the back seat and her head rested on Lauren's thighs. Lauren found herself playing with Camila's fingers more so than usual and caught herself, so she stopped. To Lauren's surprise, Camila reached for her hand and began intertwining their fingers affectionately as she laid there with her eyes closed.

_What does this mean? I don't know, but every time Camz looks or touches me, I lose my train of thought and I just feel weird. Weird like…butterflies-NO; not a possibility-NO. Kind of._

Lauren continued to contemplate what was happening between her and Camila when her phone interrupted her thoughts.

_**~BUZZ-BUZZ~**_

_Who's texting me…it's 2AM. _

Lauren sat up on her bed, took off her headphones and read the text message.

_**Frm Camz: Are you awake? I can't sleep.**_

_**To Camz: Yeah.**_

Camila didn't even bother to text the older girl back. The 16 year old made her way into Lauren's room and closed the door behind her as she walked towards the window, which had a view of the city lights. All the girls had an amazing view since their penthouse was located on the 14th floor, but Lauren's was the best one.

"Camz, it's 2am, what are you doing up?" Lauren asked as she walked towards the younger girl and stood next to her.

"I could ask you the same thing." She responded. "It's beautiful isn't it, the city lights?" Camila said staring out the window.

"Sure is." Lauren said softly as she stared at the younger girl next to her.

Camila let out a half smile as she noticed Lauren staring at her, not the city lights.

"Lolo…" Camila turned to her slightly. "City lights are that way." Camila said with a smile tilting her head towards the window.

Lauren chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I know that." She said as she turned towards the window.

Camila could see Lauren blushing a bit as she observed the green eyed girl next to her.

"Absolutely Beautiful." Camila whispered.

"Yeah, they sure are." Lauren followed, this time staring out the window.

"I wasn't talking about the city lights." Camila said as she continued to stare at the older girl next to her.

Lauren slowly turned to face the younger brunette. They both locked eyes, dark brown staring intensely into dark green eyes; they didn't have to say a word. Their eyes conveyed all that needed to be said. With that, Lauren slowly leaned down to kiss the shorter brunette. Camila's arms made their way around Lauren's neck as Lauren wrapped her arms around Camila's waist. Camila stepped into the kiss as she stood on her tippy toes. The kiss was gentle and soft, filled with so much passion that they both had been keeping inside. Their lips finally broke away from each other and both were breathing heavily. Their foreheads touched as they continued to gaze into each other's eyes and their grip on each other not loosening for one second as both took in what just happened.

"Wow." Camila let out slowly.

Lauren just smiled as she continued to look down into hypnotic brown eyes. "Wow is right."

Camila pulled Lauren in for another passionate kiss.

**++End of Flashback++**

Lauren glanced at the clock: 2:15am.

_You have got to be kidding me, I just wanna sleep! _

Lauren finally gave up on sleep and decided to get up to get some water. She made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a cold glass when she heard a faint sound coming from the living room. She walked towards the living room that had sliding doors to the balcony, which was slightly open.

"Camz?" Lauren whispered to herself as she made her way towards the slightly opened sliding door.

_Is she crazy...it's cold out and she's in a t-shirt!_

"Camz." Lauren whispered, but this time loud enough for Camila to hear. The younger girl continued to stare at the reflection of the moon on the ocean surface as if she didn't hear Lauren whisper her name.

Lauren approached her from behind and wrapped her arms around the shorter brunette.

"Camila, it's cold. What are you doing out here, its 2:30am?" She said concerned as she rubbed Camila's cold arms up and down in an attempt to warm her up. Lauren tightened her grip and rested her chin on Camila's shoulder. "Camz, talk to me, what's going on in that head of yours huh?"

Camila turned around and rested her head on Lauren's chest. Camila closed her eyes as she took in Lauren's warmth. They stayed that way for a few minutes in silence. Lauren pulled away just far enough to cup Camila's face and lift the shorter girl's face to look into her glistening brown eyes.

"Hey, it's okay." Lauren said stroking her cheek taking in every inch of beauty and vulnerability in front of her. "Whatever it is, it's okay."

_6 years…I can't believe it's been 6 years and she's still the only one that can comfort me with one look. _

"I…" Camila said softly staring up into green eyes. "I've been a little overwhelmed and I'm nervous about tonight. I've never made a record like this before. It makes me an open book."

"It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes." Lauren said with sincerity in her voice as she cupped Camila's face. "That's something I've always loved about you…how much you can convey through your music. It's about time the world knows it too and if you get nervous you can just look at me; I'll be there cheering you on." Lauren said with a smile.

_Yeah, staring into your beautiful green eyes will REALLY help in that situation._

Camila couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, I'm sure that would help." She said sarcastically with a small smile.

Lauren just smiled knowing exactly what Camila meant by that comment. "Come on, let's get you inside and tucked in. You have a big day tomorrow Miss Cabello." She said as she gave her a wink.

They both headed back inside the house and walked up the stairs as they both reached the top they stopped and looked at each other.

"Thanks Lo…for understanding me." Camila said trying her best to avoid eye contact. Green eyes at 3am would be the death of her. She knew she wouldn't be able to contain herself any longer and that's exactly what she's been doing this whole time.

Lauren stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Camila holding her tightly as she kissed the top of her head. "You don't need to thank me for that, but you're welcome." She whispered softly.

_I could stay in her arms forever; I don't want her to let go. _

After a few more seconds Lauren finally let go. "Good night Camz, see you in the morning."

Camila just smiled in response as she turned to walk towards her room. Lauren watched her long enough to reach the door to her room. She continued to stare at the brown-eyed girl as she opened the door.

Camila stopped to look down the hall at Lauren who was still watching her. "Good night Lo." She mouthed as she entered her room.

Lauren flopped on her bed and fell asleep instantaneously.


	5. Look After You

*****Camila's House*****

Lauren woke up to the sound of knocking on her door. She placed her pillows over her head as she tried to ignore Dylan on the other side.

Dylan opened the door. "Lauren, get up. I know you're awake."

"I don't want to be." He heard her mumble under the pillow.

"Laur!"

"What?" She propped her head up sounding annoyed.

"Amber's on the phone." He said as he handed her cell phone. "It's muted. I found your phone in the kitchen. She's been calling you."

"Thanks." She replied tiredly as she got out of bed and grabbed her phone to answer it.

Dylan gave her a quick look as he walked out the door and headed downstairs.

Camila was about to walk down the stairs when she heard Lauren raise her voice as she mentioned Camila's name. She walked towards the guest room Lauren was in when she stopped as she could hear Lauren talking to someone on the phone. Camila stopped near the cracked open door and couldn't help but listen to the conversation that Lauren was having.

"…yeah, _THAT_ Camila, if you put it that way, then yes." Lauren spoke into the phone. "Amber, I'm sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I left it in the kitchen. Please stop. You have nothing to worry about, there's nothing between Camila and me." She said a bit frustrated, but as the words left her mouth, she knew she had lied.

_I don't know what's going on, but there's definitely something…maybe everything. _

I'm here to support Dylan, that's it." She continued in a lowered voice.

Camila felt her heart drop as the words echoed through her body as she began walking down the stairs.

_There's NOTHING between us._

"Mmhmm; can't wait to see you…I love you too." Lauren looked down at her phone unsure of the words she had just spoken.

Camila made her way towards the stairs as she slightly heard the end of Lauren's conversation. It broke her heart into pieces. With every step she took down the stairs she knew she had to do something. It had been 6 years and at that moment she could not have been surer of her feelings. She knew she had to find a way to let Lauren know how she felt about her, even if it means Lauren turning her down. She had to tell her.

_I'm still in love with Lauren Jauregui. _

*****House of Blues, Anaheim, CA*****

"How you feeling cuz? Jason asked in excitement. "Everything sounded well with the sound check and the equipment is all set! Alright, Dylan and I will be right behind you. This record is going to be the best one Mila, I can feel it." He said with enthusiasm.

"Thanks guys." She said as she gave both of them a hug.

"All set, you're on in 15." Dylan said as he gave Camila a wink. "See you out there shorty, it's going to be a fun night!" As he and Jason walked towards the music panel on stage.

Camila stood backstage waiting for her signal. She looked blankly towards her mic as she heard a familiar raspy voice call out her name. It made her weak in the knees as she looked up to glistening green eyes.

"Hey Camz, glad I caught you before you got on stage." She said softly as she reached for Camila's hands to take into her own. "Good luck out there, you're going to be great, I know it." She gave her half smile filled with adoration and intertwined their fingers and gave it a light squeeze.

Camila's face softened as her dark brown eyes traced over Lauren's half smile that she loved so much.

"Almost thought you weren't gonna make it." Camila lightly chuckled as her eyes turned towards the ground.

Lauren lifted Camila's face with her right hand, as the other stayed intertwined with Camila's hand. She looked directly into dark browns eyes. "I wouldn't miss this." She wanted to make sure Camila knew that this was important to her, that she was important to her.

Camila took a half step back. "Lolo, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah Camz? What it is"

Camila was looking at their intertwined hands as she paused to gather her thoughts.

"Do you love her?"

"What?" Lauren was taken aback by the question and was a little confused. "Camz, what are you askin—"

Before Lauren could finish, Camila looked up at her. "Amber, do you love her?"

"I…I don't know, I mean, I love a lot of things…like nutella or a good cup of coffee in the morning." Lauren replied trying to process the question.

"You didn't answer my question Lauren." She said in a serious tone as she looked directly into shocked green eyes.

"Why are you even asking me _THIS___question and why _NOW_?" Lauren said in frustration as she waited for an answer. "Camz, say something."

Camila remained silent as she let go of Lauren's hand and began to straighten her outfit and turned her attention towards the stage.

"_TYPICAL!_ Typical Camila Cabello. Walk away and shut down when anything starts to get a little too serious. Gosh, would you look at me!" She said as she threw her hands up a bit irritated not taking her eyes off the brunette just a few feet away from her. "You _ASKED_ me that question remember?" Lauren said sharply as she pointed her finger towards Camila then to her chest. "You started this conversation. Fine, I'm out of here." She said in a whisper sounding hurt.

"Lolo…Wait!" Camila said as she turned to face green eyes that began to form tears around them.

"Wait for what Camila?" She said as she shook her head as if to say no.

Camila took a step towards Lauren and grabbed her hand. "Can you give me just 5 minutes, please?"

"You don't have 5 minutes Camz, they just gave you the signal, and you need to start your set."

"I know and I know it's hard for me to say what I'm feeling and I just, I …I just can't get my thoughts together." She said nervously. "Will you please stay? At least for 5 minutes and if you want to leave after that I understand." Camila searched for an answer in Lauren's dark green eyes as she pleaded with her own eyes that began to form tears.

Camila had never been the best communicator and the only way she could ever convey how she really felt was through her music.

"Please Lo." She said in a whisper as she continued to look directly at the older brunette closing the gab between them.

Lauren nodded up and down as she reached up to wipe a tear before it ran down Camila's face. "Don't go crying on me now. You are too beautiful to be crying right now and your fans might kill me!" She tried to lighten the mood as she reached to straighten Camila's bow. "You're absolutely…" She just shook her head in a half smile not being able to finish her train of thought as she stared at the most beautiful person she's ever laid her eyes on. "I'm staying." She leaned in to kiss her on the cheek and smiled as she looked into dark brown eyes. "I'll be here after your set okay?"

Camila smiled at the green-eyed girl as she turned to walk towards the stage and into the spot light. The crowed cheered as she took in the sight in front of her. She stood there with countless emotions running through her body as the music started playing.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" She asked her fans charmingly as she adjusted her mic stand.

They cheered loudly in response to her question.

"Well, I thought I had my whole set figured out tonight…" she chuckled with a smile. "…but I'm gonna change a few things around, hope you all enjoy tonight's songs." She said as she turned to walk towards the control panels as she made some gestures to both Dylan and Jason.

Lauren decided that she'd make her way to the 2nd floor where she had a better view from the top and was left alone to rummage through her thoughts. She was left trying to figure out what Camila was trying to tell her. She leaned on the edge of the 2nd floor balcony; her eyes narrowed trying to figure out what Camila was doing on stage.

_She looks so beautiful tonight. Every night._

Camila wore a white tank top tucked into a pink skirt that showed off her legs paired with tanned heels and of course who could forget her signature bow. Lauren couldn't help, but lust over the girl she's loved for most of her life. She bit her bottom lip when her thoughts were interrupted by Camila's voice.

"Okay, I usually don't do this, but here goes." She said as she turned her attention to the stage crew that rolled out a keyboard to the center of the stage. Camila took a seat and played a few notes and turned to smile and wink at the crowd. The crowd cheered in approval. She began to play the keyboard once again as she turned to her left to look for Lauren. She was surprised to not see her there where they had just been conversing. She scanned the crowd desperately for those beautiful green eyes, when she finally glanced upwards towards the balcony of the 2nd floor. Her dark brown eyes meeting narrowed green eyes, which had their attention on her already. She began to sing as the green-eyed girl had her undivided attention.

**If I don't say this now I will surely break**

**As I'm leaving the one I want to take**

**Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait**

**My heart has started to separate**

**Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby**

**Oh-oh oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby**

**I'll look after you**

**There now, steady love, so few come and don't go**

**Will you won't you, be the one I always know**

**When I'm losing my control, the city spins around**

**You're the only one who knows, you slow it down**

**Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby**

**Oh-oh oh Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby**

**I'll look after you**

**I'll look after you, and I'll look after you**

**If ever there was a doubt**

**My love she leans into me**

**This most assuredly counts**

**She says most assuredly**

**Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby**

**Oh-oh oh Oh-oh, oh-oh**

**Be my baby I'll look after you**

**After you**

**Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby Oh-oh, oh-oh**

Camila's eyes were closed as she sang each lyric and played every note with passion. In those lyrics, she was expressing what she couldn't say earlier. Lauren was listening and she melted with each note that came out of Camila's mouth. Camila opened her eyes to meet glistening green eyes on her. Completely lost in each other, it was if no one else was around.

**It's always have and never hold**

**You've begun to feel like home**

**What's mine is yours to leave or take**

**What's mine is yours to make your own**

**Oh-oh, oh-oh Be my baby**

**Oh-oh oh Oh-oh, oh-oh**

**Be my baby Oh-oh oh**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are so beautiful**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are so beautiful to me**

**You are everything I hope for**

**You are everything I need**

**You are so beautiful to me**

The crowd erupted in cheers.


	6. Fight For You

*****Camila's House 12AM*****

Lauren took her scarf and beanie off as she shook her long brown her as she began to make herself comfortable as she closed the door to Camila's house behind her.

"Dylan and Jason off to L.A.?" Camila asked unsurely as she kicked off her tanned heels, not bothering to put them away. She couldn't help but stare at Lauren and her gorgeous long brown her, which finally settled on her shoulders down the length of her back.

Lauren let out a chuckle. "Still messy I see." She said with a smirk, her eyes going from Camila to her shoes that were scattered on the floor.

"It is _MY_ house after all." Camila quickly turned away hoping Lauren didn't realize she had been staring and blushing a bit.

"Um…yeah, they have sound check for one of their up and coming artists in the morning in Burbank, I think." Lauren said as she took off her leather jacket.

"They're pretty incredible aren't they? I mean I couldn't have done what I did tonight without them." Camila said with a thankful grin on her face.

"They are." Lauren agreed. "You're pretty incredible yourself. Those songs, those lyrics…nothing short of amazing." She continued as she stared intensely into dark brown eyes closing the gab between them. "Are you ready to talk now?"

"Um…" The nervousness in her voice was uncontainable. "Not quite Lo."

"Cammmzzz."

"I am, I just want to get comfy first; do you mind if I change into some pajamas? Maybe you should do the same." She said with the cutest smile on her face nodding her head up and down.

"Alright." Lauren couldn't help but produce a smile from ear to ear as she stared at the girl in the pink skirt walking up the stairs. "I'll meet you back down in the living room?" Lauren tilted her head to get a better view.

"Lo…I know you're staring at me." Camila didn't have to look over her shoulder to feel the way Lauren was looking at her.

Lauren cleared her throat as she began to walk up the stairs towards her room.

Camila made her way down the stairs towards the living room as she caught glimpse of the older brunette pacing back and forth on the balcony that was connected to the living room.

"Sorry I took so long." Camila said as she stepped outside.

"It's okay, I know you." Lauren replied her eyes staring at the moon. She slowly turned around making eye contact with the younger brunette walking towards her. "Nice pajamas." She said with a smirk.

"Luxury of living in Southern California; you can always wear minimal clothing." Camila said walking towards the taller brunette as she gave her a quick wink.

Lauren took in the sight moving towards her. Camila was wearing pink silk shorts with a matching tank top that caressed every inch of her body that it covered. Lauren couldn't tear her eyes off Camila even if she wanted to. Her green eyes drifted from her fit stomach, which slightly showed where her bottoms and her top parted back up top to her lips.

"Like what you see Lo?" She said playfully.

"When did you get so confident?" She replied back smirking as she tilted her head.

"Since I decided I wasn't letting you go this time." Camila replied staring into greens eyes as she closed the gap between them; they were just inches apart from each other, if that. "I'm still very much in love with you Lauren; I'm going to fight for you."

Lauren just stood there staring down into dark brown eyes filled with love and hope. She could see the passion spilling from Camila's eyes as it slowly engulfed her entire body and she couldn't hold herself back anymore. She found her arms wrapped around Camila, slightly lifting the smaller girl as she moved her towards the couch in the living her. Their lips meshing together aggressively letting out what they both have been holding onto for the last 6 years. She gently laid Camila onto the couch as Lauren's legs rested on either side of her. Their lips not parting for one second as electricity flowed through both their bodies. Lauren broke their kiss momentarily and she looked down at bright brown eyes looking up at her. She cupped Camila's face with her left hand as Camila remained with her back on the couch. Lauren leaned down for another kiss as she slowly pulled Camila's pink silk top over her head and threw it on the floor. She took her own shirt off and threw it on the ground as Camila propped her body up and placed her hands on Lauren's waist, slightly tugging at her bottoms as she bit her bottom lip. She kissed Lauren's bare chest making her way up her neck and around her jaw line. Lauren tilted her head back and let out a moan as Camila continued to kiss her. Her green eyes finding dark brown eyes as she slowly pushed Camila back down dominating the smaller girl back onto the couch. She kissed her lips passionately and bit her bottom lip. Camila broke their kiss as her lips made their way to kiss Lauren's earlobe and she slowly whispered in between heavy breaths.

"Make love to me."

Lauren didn't think it was possible to love this brown-eyed girl in front of her anymore than she already did. She was wrong and at that moment she heard that beautiful voice whisper into her ear, her heart melted. She looked at glistening brown eyes momentarily before pressing their lips together, her tongue making it's way into Camila's mouth as the younger brunette received it approvingly. Tongues intertwined as their kiss intensified. Lauren pulled off Camila's silk bottoms as her hand made their way in between her legs. Her fingers rubbing her wet core as she broke their kiss to look into her eyes. Camila tilted her head back as she closed her eyes. Sensing the younger brunette was about to climax; she entered her and began pumping in and out quickly. She let out a loud moan as one of her hands clenched onto the couch and the other digging into Lauren's back.

"Loooo!" She cried out as both hands were on Lauren's back and fingers were digging into her flesh as she climaxed.

Camila was panting heavily as Lauren rested on her bare chest. They made love over and over again until the sun came up. Both were exhausted by the time the sun began to rise, they had switched positions by the morning and Camila laid her head on Lauren's chest with her arm around her waist. Both of their eyes suddenly heavy as they fell asleep in the comfort of each other's embrace.


	7. Fight For You (Part 2)

Lauren woke up to a slight breeze brushing over her bare body as she slowly opened her eyes to the morning sunlight making its way through the clear sliding doors that were open. She frowned when she realized Camila was no longer on the couch with her. The older brunette took a quick look around before flopping her legs over the couch to sit up. She stood up and grabbed her shirt from the floor and threw it over her head, as it was the only thing covering her naked flesh. The shirt was loose and long enough to cover most of her as it stopped short of mid thigh. She took in the smell of bacon and smiled at the thought of Camila cooking.

"Lo? Are you up…in here babe." Camila called from the kitchen.

_BABE._

Lauren liked the way that sounded so natural coming from Camila's lips. She walked into the kitchen and stood by the door as she watched the shorter brunette hovered above the stove maneuvering back and forth as she cooked.

"I would've expected something like pizza, but _THIS_, this I can certainly get used to." She said with a hint of lust in her voice, as she looked Camila up and down in her silk pajamas that pulled up as she reached to grab for something on the top cupboard.

Lauren couldn't resist as she quickly walked towards the shorter brunette and wrapped her arms around her waist. She buried her face in Camila's neck as the shorter brunette tilted her head to let Lauren have as much room as she needed. Lauren began pecking kisses up and down Camila's neck as she released approving moans.

"Breakfast. Smells. So. Good." She whispered in between kisses. All Camila could do was moan as Lauren bit her lightly.

The taller brunette spun Camila around to finally face her. Green eyes locked onto dark brown eyes momentarily before Lauren pressed her lips against soft full lips. Camila finally broke the kiss both still wrapped in each other's arms staring intensely.

"I made you breakfast Lo." Camila said with a slight smile as she pushed herself up to kiss the set of eager lips in front of her.

Lauren and Camila sat across from each other at the breakfast nook table as they ate what Camila had made. Camila could feel green eyes on her as she continued to read her paper. Lauren couldn't help it; every few bites her eyes made their way to scan the beautiful sight in front of her. Disheveled brown locks that weren't done, but looked done, full lips sipping on a coffee cup, even the way she flipped the pages of the newspaper made Lauren's heart skip a beat every now and then.

She stared at the brown-eyed girl wondering how she ever made it this long without her. Without her long wavy chocolate locks that rolled off her shoulders gently, without her full lips that when sipping on a cup of coffee…sipping on anything, were absolutely irresistible and when tugged from ear to ear were just dangerous, at least for Lauren. Her eyes, the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever looked into; it was Camila's tell. Lauren knew exactly how Camila felt just by looking into her hypnotic brown eyes, the way they glistened when she was speaking passionately about anything, the way they darkened with intensity when she was upset, the way they softened when she couldn't quite express how she really felt at the moment. Camila's tell were in fact her eyes and those brown eyes were also Lauren's Achilles' heel.

"Yes Lo?" Camila didn't need to look up from her paper to feel green eyes staring at her. She sipped her coffee as she slightly blushed.

Lauren reached across the small table and began playing with the back of Camila's hand, tracing circles around them. Her thoughts began to flood her mind and it showed on her face. Camila looked at Lauren and placed her other hand above the older brunette's hand.

"Lo, what are you thinking about?" She asked concerned as she held Lauren's hand in between both of her hands.

Lauren remained silent as she slowly lifted one of Camila's hands and she began to observe it.

"How did I ever get through the past 6 years without these hands?" She said, still staring at the Camila's hands.

Camila stood up and walked over to Lauren to sit on the green-eyed girl's lap as she put her arms around her neck. She looked down to sparkling green eyes and cupped Lauren's face before pressing her lips against the older brunette's trembling lips. After a few seconds, Camila pulled back and smiled taking in all Lauren was trying convey through her smiles, touches and her beautiful green-eyes that reminded Camila so much of the ocean.

"What would you like to do today before we head out to L.A. for Dylan and Jason's show?" Camila asked as her dark brown eyes stared down at glistening green-blue eyes.

"I just want to do a whole bunch of nothing, with _YOU_." Lauren let out along with a sigh as she took in all of Camila and pulled the younger brunette in for a kiss.

"We can do that." Camila replied smirking into Lauren's kiss. "Wanna go swimming?"

The two brunettes made their way to the pool house where they both changed into bikinis. Lauren sporting a two-piece that accentuated her already gorgeous body, Camila couldn't tear her eyes off of the green-eyed beauty as Camila walked to the deep end. The black and white bikini caressing every curve it touched, molding perfectly against porcelain skin as Lauren moved and dipped her foot in the water. She smiled to look up to dark brown eyes staring at her, not even trying to hide the lust in her eyes. Lauren examined Camila's body; the red bikini making her tan body pop out even more, from her fit stomach, which was a little more defined in red, to her long tan legs that Lauren remembered wrapped around her waist just the night before. She had to shake her head to realize where she was at the moment. Camila smiled right before taking a step back and diving into the deep end.

"Water's perfect, come on in Lo." She said as she swam towards the older brunette who still had her feet submerged in the water where the stairs of the pool were located.

Lauren slowly walked down the stairs, spreading her arms to feel the perfect temperature that surrounded her waist deep. Camila popped up right in front of her, she moved her hands to her face, wiping off the excess water, then moved them to slick her hair back as she licked her lips.

"Feels good right?" Camila said as she playfully splashed water on Lauren's upper body as the taller brunette giggled.

Lauren lifted the smaller brunette and pushed her up against the pool wall gently. "You think you're cute, splashing me and all?" She asked sarcastically, her eyes piercing Camila.

"Oh, I know I'm cute, some might even say sexy."

"I can't argue with that." Lauren replied as she licked her lips and leaned in to kiss the brown-eyed girl. Their full lips devouring each other aggressively as Camila wrapped her arms around Lauren's neck. Lauren pulled away to admire the beauty in front of her before she began pecking her with kisses. She began on her nose as she smiled, to her cheek, down to her neck and on her shoulders as she slightly bit down on Camila. All Camila could do was moan in approval as her fingers tangled with dark locks.

_**~RING-RING-RING~**_

Camila's eyes snapped open as her head looked around to see where the ringing was coming from.

"Ignore it." Lauren said in between kisses to her neck.

_**~RING-RING-RING~**_

"mmhhmmm" Camila whimpered as she gladly let the older brunette pepper her with kisses.

_**~RING-RING-RING~**_

"Lo, maybe we shou-"

"No, Camz." Lauren continued to kiss and suck on her neck as she slid her hands to squeeze her bottom.

_**~RING-RING-RING~**_

_**~RING-RING-RING~**_

Lauren lifted her head in frustration. "I am going to throw that phone in the pool!" She said with the look of frustration plastered all over her face.

Camila couldn't help but smirk at the green-eyed beauty in front of her. "You're so sexy when you're frustrated." She said as she pecked Lauren's lips.

"You can't say things like that and expect me to get out of this pool." She said with a frown as she turned around to walk up the steps.

_**~RING-RING-RING~**_

"Sexy when you frown too" She said as she leaned against the wall fully appreciating the sight of toned porcelain skin slowly getting out of the water. "Is it Jay? Or Dylan?"

Camila watched intently as Lauren began to walk towards the house while talking on the phone. She decided to get out of the pool and dry herself off with a towel making her way towards the house.

"Okay, yeah, see you then, me too, bye." Lauren looked at the phone before setting it down on the coffee table.

"Who was that?" Camila asked, but she already knew the answer.

"It was um, Amber." She answered nodding her head not making eye contact with the younger brunette.

Camila felt her heart tighten; she couldn't stand the thought of Lauren belonging to someone else. It made her sick to her stomach. The thought of Lauren kissing someone else the way she kissed her, touching someone else the way she touched her, making love to someone else, it made her stomach turn and her heart ache even more. She began to feel nauseous.


	8. Realize

The drive to the venue was silent. Camila had so many unanswered questions lingering on her mind and in her heart. Did she want to know the answers; to be truthful, she wasn't sure yet. She contemplated whether or not telling Lauren that she was still in love with her was the right move, knowing she was with someone else, but she knew she couldn't change that now. Being with Lauren after all these years triggered feelings for the green-eyed girl that she's always had and it has full on surfaced. The thought of Lauren not feeling the same way, it absolutely terrified the younger girl.

*****House of Blues, Los Angeles, CA*****

The show had already started as Camila and Lauren entered backstage. The loud music invading their ears as they looked around. Jason was behind the control panels as always and Dylan was nowhere to be found. Jason and Dylan's new band on stage had more of a rock-pop feel to them and their sound was pretty good.

"Hey Laur, come I wanna show you something really quick." Dylan said as he quickly approached her with an awkward look that Lauren noticed.

"Um, alright, but I kinda wanna listen to_ YOUR_ band, which is why we're here." Lauren replied with confusion written on her face.

Dylan kept tilting his head as he scrunched his eyebrows with wide eyes trying to get Lauren to follow him.

"_HI_ Dylan." Camila said trying to get his attention, as he had not acknowledged her presence.

"Hey, Mila! Sorry," He said apologetically as he turned once again towards Lauren.

"Laur, I really think you should come to the dressi-" Dylan didn't have time to finish his sentence.

Amber came running from the back room, "Baaabbbyyyyy!" She said as she threw her arms around Lauren and leaned in for a kiss, complete taking her by surprise.

Lauren broke the kiss quickly, looking past Amber to Camila. Bright brown eyes broken, holding back tears.

Lauren shot Dylan the _**WHAT THE FUCK? **_Look.

He winced back at her and it finally clicked in her head, why he was so adamant about her going to the dressing room.

"Wha, what, what are you doing here?" Lauren asked shocked as she took a step back

"I came to surprise you, I couldn't wait another week!" She said as she grabbed both of Lauren's hands.

"Yeah, that's great," Lauren said trying to sound happy, her eyes drifting from Amber's, past her to sad brown eyes and back to Amber.

Amber linked her arm to Lauren's and turned towards the stage where Camila was standing close to the curtains, still staring at the two of them.

"Camila Cabello." Amber said with a smile as she extended her hand, "Amber Hannan."

Camila shook her hand. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you Amber," she said as she mustered the best smile she could.

Camila was being her usual sweet self, but Lauren knew better. She knew that Camila was hurting and all Lauren wanted to do was hug and kiss her, but she couldn't. Everything was so messed up; Amber showing up out of nowhere, Lauren couldn't get her thoughts, let alone her feelings together.

"Did you guys enjoy the show tonight?" Jason yelled towards the crowd as they roared! "_**The DRIVE's**_ EP will be out in a few months, keep an eye out for it!" He said proudly. "You guys have been pretty amazing, so how would you like a special treat, they're gonna kill me, but who cares!" he said as he laughed into the microphone. "I've got two Grammy Award winning singers backstage. Hey! Which one of you wants to sing a song for the this AHHH-MMAAA-ZINNNGG crowd!"

"He wooouuulllddd!" Dylan said as he chuckled, "Okay, Mila, Lauren, which one of you is going out there?"

"I'll go!" Lauren replied as she walked towards the spotlight, not letting Camila answer.

She had to get out of the situation and if it meant improvising and singing on a night she wasn't prepared to, well so be it.

Cheers and applause rang through the entire venue as they caught sight of her walking out.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Grammy Award Winner…Lauren Jauregui!" Jason said with a smirk as he looked at Lauren.

"Thanks Jason." She said winking at him as she took a seat at the keyboard.

"You guys caught me off guard," she said charmingly into the mic as she looked at the crowd, her eyes quickly glancing into glistening brown eyes by the curtains and back to the crowd.

"I um, I've been working on this song and you guys will be the first to hear it. Enjoy." She shot Dylan a look as he made his way to the control panels.

Lauren began to play the keyboard; losing herself in the first few notes she played as she began to sing.

_**~I'm gonna pick up the pieces, **_

_**And build a Lego house **_

_**If things go wrong we can knock it down**_

_**My three words have two meanings, **_

_**There's one thing on my mind **_

_**It's all for you**_

_**And it's dark in a cold December, **_

_**but I've got you to keep me warm **_

_**If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you **_

_**sheltered from the storm that's raging on now**_

_**I'm out of touch, I'm out of love**_

_**I'll pick you up when you're getting down **_

_**And out of all these things I've done **_

_**I think I love you better now **_

_**I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind **_

_**I'll do it all for you in time **_

_**And out of all these things I've done **_

_**I think I love you better now**_

_**I'm gonna paint you by numbers **_

_**And colour you in **_

_**If things go right we can frame it and put you on a wall**_

_**And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before **_

_**Now I'll surrender up my heart **_

_**And swap it for yours**_

_**I'm out of touch, I'm out of love **_

_**I'll pick you up when you're getting down **_

_**And out of all these things I've done **_

_**I think I love you better now **_

_**I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind **_

_**I'll do it all for you in time **_

_**And out of all these things I've done **_

_**I think I love you better now**_

_**Don't hold me down **_

_**I think my braces are breaking, **_

_**and it's more than I can take**_

_**And it's dark in a cold December, **_

_**but I've got you to keep me warm **_

_**If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you **_

_**sheltered from the storm that's raging on now**_

_**I'm out of touch, I'm out of love **_

_**I'll pick you up when you're getting down **_

_**And out of all these things I've done I think **_

_**I love you better now **_

_**I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind **_

_**I'll do it all for you in time **_

_**And out of all these things I've done **_

_**I think I love you better now~**_

Lauren slowly allowed herself to return back to reality as opened her eyes. She smiled at the crowd as they cheered and whistled. She continued to stare out adoringly as she mouth the words, 'thank you'.

While she was gone, singing that song, Camila filled her heart. Her eyes were closed, but she could see bright brown eyes clearly looking into her own, she could see red lipstick on full lips that made her weak in the knees, she could see the way she would slightly tilt her head, poke her lips out when she was confused, she could see chocolate, long wavy locks softly falling off her shoulders down her back caressing her warm tanned skin that she had made love to just the other night and that smile, that smile that Lauren loved so much. She knew what she had to do.


	9. Realize (Part 2)

*****12AM-House of Blues, Los Angeles, CA*****

Lauren slowly made her way towards the curtains; backstage; it seemed as if everything was in slow motion, at least for her.

_Breathe, Lauren, Breathe. It's fine; they're both staring at YOU, you're fine. _

As she walked she was met with two pairs of eyes. One, sparkling light blue, filled with love and admiration as it lit up at the sight of her. The other narrowed, a little darker than before; nonetheless, those brown eyes still pierced her heart and she felt the hurt that was flowing from them.

"Lauren, that was amazing!" Jason said as he hugged her as a thank you for singing on the spot. "I think we're all set, let me just run to the dressing room to grab some things."

"I'll go with you!" Camila insisted as she smiled and nodded looking at her cousin.

Lauren watched Jason and Camila walk towards the dressing room and she felt like shit. She felt guilty. She felt guilty for being the reason Camila's eyes weren't as bright as they had been and that she was in pain because of _HER_ and she felt shitty for being the main reason they were in the situation they were currently in. she felt guilty for lying to Amber, even though she had always been honest with her about their relationship, if you can call it that.

Lauren couldn't fully commit to an exclusive relationship even after 8 months of dating steadily. She had told Amber this from the beginning and the blue-eyed girl was willing to stick it out with her. Something was always holding her back and she could never quite put her finger on the reason why. She loves Amber, she really does, but for her that wasn't enough; there was always something missing, a void she could never really comprehend. Whatever the reason, she knew Amber deserved _BETTER_ than what she was willing to give, and for that she felt guilty, she felt like a scumbag and in this situation, Lauren knew she was a scumbag.

_**++ Flashback: 1 year ago ++**_

_"I fucking hate these events, fake people sucking up just to climb up the social ladder." She said as she leaned up against the bar. "So, what's a hot piece of ass like you doing here by yourself?"_

_Amber was confident, she knew how to grab someone's undivided attention and she immediately had Lauren's; something no one had been able to do for a long time._

_"Oh well you know, just sucking up to people, trying to climb up the social ladder." Lauren shot back with a smirk as she perked up an eyebrow._

_Amber chuckled, "I like you." She said as her lips curved into a half smile, blue eyes scanning Lauren's form._

_"You don't even know my name," she shot back leaning her back against the bar._

_"I don't need to, I like you, already decided." She said as she sipped on her whiskey sour._

_Lauren liked Amber's in your face attitude. It was something different for her; almost like a breathe of fresh air._

_"Lauren Jauregui." She said extending her hand._

_"Lauren Jauregui, " she practically purred, "it's a pleasure. Amber Hannan."_

_"Amber Hannan, wait, isn't this party for YOUR new movie?"_

_"Ding, ding, ding, I hate promotional parties." She said as she rolled her eyes. "Thanks for singing our theme song, it's on point."_

_"Oh so you already knew who I was?" Lauren asked as she narrowed her eyes._

_Amber laughed, "absolutely." She said with a devilish grin. "So what do you say we get out of here?"_

_Amber quickly found herself falling for the green-eyed beauty. It took a few months for Lauren to somewhat let her guard down with Amber, but the blue eyed girl never gave up on her and they began to date on a regular bases about 4 months after meeting each other. _

_There was no denying that Amber was beautiful. She had blonde hair that draped a few inches past her shoulders. She was tall and fit with a slender body that mirrored that of a victoria secret model. In the beginning it was just to cure the sting of loneliness at night, but after a few months, Lauren found herself enjoying Amber's company. _

_**++ End of Flashback ++**_

"Let's get going babe, I'm pretty tired and I _REALLY_ missed you these last few days." Camila heard Amber coo as she and Jason made their way back towards the backstage exit where Lauren, Amber and Dylan had stood.

_I think I'm going to be sick._

"Mila, you okay? You look a little pale?" Dylan said with concern as the brown-eyed girl stopped in front of him.

Lauren's head snapped towards Camila, completely ignoring what Amber had said, as she analyzed the shorter brunette. Her eyes glanced over her face, which did look a little pale and she just wanted to hold her and make her feel better, but she couldn't and it killed her.

"Me? I'm fine," She said waving her hand in front of him to dismiss such an idea. "I should probably get going; it's pretty late."

"You're _NOT_ driving _THIS_ late by yourself." Lauren interjected in a stern voice as she took a step closer to Camila, which meant taking a step away from Amber.

Amber crossed her arms, she didn't like being ignored and she certainly didn't like the way Lauren was so concerned with Camila.

"I'm 25 years old, I can drive whenever I want." She shot back with anger in her tone and a hint of sarcasm not taking her eyes off of Dylan.

Jason could sense the tension between the two brunettes as he quickly jumped in, "I'll drive back with you cuz."

"Don't you _ALL_ have a recording session in the morning? It doesn't make sense for you to come back to Newport Coast, then back to L.A." Camila responded in a softer tone. "It's fine, I'm fine."

She wasn't fine. The thought of Lauren going home with Amber made her sick, literally sick.

"_CAAMMMZZ." _

Amber's eyes widened as she heard Lauren's voice softened, almost in a pleading tone directed towards the brown-eyed girl.

"She said she's fine to drive; why don't we all let Camila make her own decision." Amber said aggressively as she approached the green-eyed girl and linked their arms together. "Dylan, Jason, great show. Lauren I'm tired, let's go." Her tone was demanding as she looked directly into green eyes.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. We should get going then." Lauren said in defeat. "Great show guys." She said as she gave Jason a hug and then she made her way towards her best friend.

She pulled Dylan into a hug, "Great show!" She squeezed a little tighter, "Do _NOT _let Camila drive home by herself, she doesn't look well…I'll fill you in later." She whispered into his ear before she let him go.

Lauren turned towards the shorter brunette, brown eyes locking with her own and she doesn't know how Camila does it, but she seems to make everyone else disappear around her.

"Drive safely and if you don't feel well just give me a call," Lauren gave her head a quick, and I mean quick shake, "I mean one of us, Dylan, Jason or myself; we don't want anything happening to you."

She gave Camila a light hug as she could feel a pair of blue eyes drilling at her back. She turned around to walk towards Amber who was already waiting near the exit doors.

"It was nice meeting you Camila." She said in an indifferent tone, "have a safe drive back to Orange County."

"Thanks, it was nice meeting you too." Camila responded; her eyes watching the blonde walk out the door followed by the brunette she desperately wanted to be with her instead.

Camila watched Lauren walk out and she began to feel even sicker. She could feel her slipping through her fingers again and this time, she doesn't think she'd be able to cope. Her stomach turned and she began to feel lightheaded as her thoughts began to unravel.

_I can't believe Lauren left with HER; how could I be so stupid? What was I thinking? To think Lauren would just drop everything in her life because I told her I'm still in love with her? I can't believe this is happening._

"Camila…Camila…Mila?" She could hear faintly as the black took over her eyes and her hearing got worse.

_**~THUD~**_


	10. Decisions

*****Hannan Penthouse, Los Angeles, CA*****

They had arrived a little after 1am at Amber's home. It was beautiful, modern and had a panoramic view of Los Angeles. It was everything a 27-year-old actress could want, if not more.

Lauren sat on a chair, hunched over with her hands pressed together, as her fingertips grazed her lips. Her thoughts on the brown-eyed brunette she left behind as she stared out the floor to ceiling windows, green eyes exploring the cold city that was lit up.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" Amber called from the kitchen.

Lauren didn't answer.

"Lauren, did you hear me?" She asked her tone aggressive as she slammed a glass onto the counter top. The blonde made her way towards the brunette who was still staring out the window.

"What? No I'm fine; thanks." Lauren responded not taking her eyes off the view in front of her.

"What's going on with you?" Amber asked looking down at Lauren who remained on the chair, "I leave for a few days and I come back and it's like you're a ghost." She said as she crossed her arms, looking at the green-eyed girl who had her eyes closed, leaning back.

_**++ Flashback: 8 1/2 years ago ++**_

"Camila, you're crazy! It's freezing!" The older brunette emphasized as she watched the younger girl open the door to the balcony of the apartment they were staying at in New York City. "Simon is going to kill you if you get sick."

Lauren said the last part in her normal tone. Amused by what the free spirited girl was doing, she actually didn't want her to come back inside.

"Lo, come out here! Now!" She said in a demanding way as she pouted.

It made the older brunette walk outside instantaneously. She couldn't resist Camila, let alone when she pouts her lips.

"Don't you dare!" Green eyes glared towards the shorter brunette with a snowball in her right hand, her lips pulling into a smile.

Lauren ran towards Camila and quickly wrapped her arms around the younger girl so she wouldn't be able to throw the snowball at her; they both laughed uncontrollably falling to the floor, fighting for dominance.

Lauren won.

"Nice try Camz," she said as she straddled Camila to the balcony floor both hands pinned and both out of breath.

They're breathing became normal as soft green eyes glared down into bright brown eyes.

"Lo it's snowing!" The younger girl beamed as Lauren turned her eyes to the sky, following a snowflake that danced back and forth all the way down as it landed on Camila's bottom lip.

Lauren looked into sparkling brown eyes before leaning down and placing a kiss on the younger girls full lips. It was cold for just a split second, but once the snowflake melted in between their lips that crashed together, Lauren felt the warmth from Camila's full lips caressing her own. She felt arms wrap around her neck to deepen the kiss as the snow fell around them. Lauren lightly bit and tugged on Camila's bottom lip before slightly pulling away and peppering the brown-eyed girl with kisses to the side of her cheek, to her ear.

"I love you." She whispered, as her lips remained lightly grazing Camila's ear.

She felt Camila's cheeks move as the younger girl's lips curved into a smile. Camila placed both of her hands to the side of Lauren's head as she felt the _WANT_ and _NEED _to look into her beautiful green eyes. Their noses touched as Camila pulled her down for a quick passionate kiss.

"I love you too Lauren." She breathed out into Lauren's lips.

_**++ End Of Flashback ++**_

"Lauren! Are you even listening to me at all?" Anger echoed throughout the house, "what were you thinking about just now?" Blue eyes glared into green eyes as Lauren stood up.

"It late, you've had a long flight, just go to bed Amber." She said as she walked past her.

*****Lasner Residence, Brentwood, CA*****

"How's she doing doc?" Dylan asked.

"She'll be okay; she hit her head when she fainted and that was caused by dehydration. Make sure she gets lots of water and doesn't do anything too strenuous in the next few days."

"Thanks doc, I'll walk you out." Jason said as he guided the doctor down the stairs.

Dylan looked at Camila who was asleep on the bed in one of his guest rooms, and then he pulled out his phone and began to dial.

**~RING-RING-RING~**

**~RING-RING-RING~**

"Hey Dylan, what's up? Everything okay?" Lauren answered on the other end, "It's almost 2am."

"Yeah, yeah I mean Camila's fine now-"

"Whoa, whoa, what do you mean Camila's fine NOW?"

"Well after you left, she fainted and—"

"FAINTED? And you're calling me ONLY NOW?"

"I'm SORRY, geez."

"Where are you guys now? Where is she?"

"At my house."

"I'll be right over."

*****Hannan Penthouse, Los Angeles, CA*****

"You'll be right over where?" Amber said as she made her way towards Lauren.

"I'm going to Dylan's." Lauren answered as she reached for coat.

"It's 2am _WHY_?" Amber said with a questioning look as she crossed her arms.

Lauren's heart was heavy; she knew where she wanted to be and it wasn't _HERE_ with Amber. She was tired of lying; she didn't want to lie anymore.

"Camila fainted, I want to make sure she's okay." Lauren made her way towards the door.

Amber's eyes narrowed, "what happened while I was gone? Huh Lauren?"

Lauren shook her head, her green eyes avoiding blue ones, "Amber, don't."

"I want to know! Tell me." She made her way towards the brunette. "You're still in love with her aren't you?"

"You knew what you were getting yourself into, you've never been like this before. I'd disappear for days and you never acted this way." Lauren said a little harshly.

"Yeah well you've never left me in the middle of the night before and I've never seen you look at someone the way you look at her Lauren, never."

"I don't know what you want me to say," Lauren shook her head slightly, her eyes apologetic, her thoughts still on the brown-eyed girl who may or may not be okay.

Lauren made her way towards the front door and grabbed the doorknob.

"If you walk out that door, we're _DONE_ Lauren,_ DONE_."

Lauren looked into blue eyes that gave her an ultimatum, "I have to go, I'm sorry."

*****Lasner Residence, Brentwood, CA*****

Camila could feel the warmth on her face from the sun that beamed through the window as she slowly fluttered her eyes open. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she quickly looked around and didn't recognize anything around her; she wondered whose house she was in. She propped herself up on the bed and stretched her arms out slightly and that's when she noticed someone sleeping on a chair to the right of her bed in the corner.

"Lauren?" She whispered as she pulled the covers off and took the few steps to get to the brunette who looked so peaceful sleeping.

She was in awe at the sight in front of her. Lauren's chest was gently moving as she breathed softly, her eyes closed and arms crossed as her head leaned against a pillow that was on the chair.

_What is she doing here…with me? How long has she been here?_

She approached the green-eyed girl and lightly caressed her cheek with the back of her hand as she leaned in a little closer. She cupped her cheek with that same hand as she placed a warm, soft kiss on rose-colored full lips. She had missed Lauren's lips so much, she couldn't help herself when she saw the beautiful brunette sleeping so peacefully, her lips so inviting.

Lauren's body jumped just a tiny bit as her eyes remained closed. She was awoken by a set of lips on hers, they were familiar and she knew whose lips they were, how could she forget? But every time those soft lips, that quivered at times, touched hers, it felt like the first time. At first contact her lips were taken by surprise, but after a second or so, her lips began to move along with that of the younger brunette. Their lips crashed together eagerly as Lauren's arms uncrossed and she pulled the petite body onto her lap. Her hands grasping tightly on the exposed skin between Camila's jeans and t-shirt as the younger girl propped herself up, not breaking their kiss. Each leg was on either side of the porcelain-skinned girl that sat on the chair as her hands made their way to dark brown locks. Lauren exhaled an indulgent moan that caused the bronze skinned girl to amplify their kiss as her tongue made it's way into the older girl's mouth, caressing, dancing, exploring. Both girls hesitantly retreated as oxygen became vital, both heaving trying to catch their breaths. Lauren slowly opened her eyes, which were instantly locked with lustrous brown orbs and subtle smile; she smiled back. She pulled the brown-eyed girl for a gentle, soft kiss and smiled into tender lips that continued to brush against her own.

_This beats being woken up any other way. CAMILA._


	11. Decisions (Part 2)

**~Knock-Knock-Knock~**

The door flew open as Dylan and Jason walked in on the two brunettes very much in their own little world.

Jason cleared his throat loudly prompting Camila to turn and face him; sitting on Lauren's lap. "How you feeling cousin?"

"I'm okay; I feel a little tired and my head hurts." Camila spoke as Lauren's arms wrapped around her thin waist.

"Yeah you hit your head pretty hard when you fainted. Doctor said no strenuous activities for the next few days." Dylan said as he furrowed his eyebrows.

The younger brunette quickly popped up, "few days? But I have a performance scheduled in San Francisco for my EP!"

"Sorry Mila, doctor's orders." Jason said as he crossed his arms.

She turns to the older brunette behind her, looking into light green eyes, as she pleaded with her own brown shiny orbs.

Lauren quickly stood up to make her way around the younger brunette next to the guys. "No, no, no Camz, don't look at me like _THAT_. Doctor's orders."

She pouted, "Okay, I'll have my manager reschedule."

"Nice try," Lauren pulled her into her arms and kissed her head.

"Okay well we're recording for most of today so just keep in touch, Dylan lets get out of here, we're already late." Jason said as he smiled a goodbye to both brunettes; Dylan did the same.

Lauren watched Camila sleep for most of the morning. Occasionally getting the younger brunette whatever it was she needed or wanted. From her random food cravings of pizza, ice cream, and orange juice, to her demanding requests of cuddling, which the older brunette didn't mind at all. It's been a few days, but her feelings had come roaring back and there was no denying how strong they were and have always been.

_I could watch her sleep all day; she's so beautiful. Okay, she's in love with you…with ME, yes. I know how I feel. DO YOU? The last time I felt this way, my heart was ripped out of my chest. Should I tell her how I feel? It's only been a few days, how can YOU be sure? AHHH! Why am feeling so…queasy right now? YOU KNOW WHY! _

Lauren's thoughts were abruptly interrupted.

**~BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ~**

"Hey Dylan, how's the recording session?" She whispered stepping outside the room so she wouldn't wake the younger girl.

"It's awesome, this new band we signed could be the next big thing!" He answered enthusiastically on the other end. "Hey Laur, your manager just called me, there's a charity event at LACMA tonight, for the Children's hospital, they were wondering if you could make an appearance, maybe sing a song. They know it's last minute, but they timed the show incorrectly and they know how big of an advocate you are for chariti-"

"Yeah, yeah of course!" She cut him off, "What time do I have to be in L.A.?"

"The event starts at 8pm, and you're expected to walk down the red carpet, so I would say no later than 730pm, cool?"

"Send the make up crew and my stylist over, I'll see you in a few hours."

**~CLICK~**

Lauren made her way back into the room, kneeling next to the bed as she began to brush strands of hair off Camila's face. Her lips pulled to her eyes as the brown-eyed beauty grabbed her hand, still with her eyes closed, and pulled her on the bed.

"Mmhmm," she nuzzled her face onto Lauren's neck.

Lauren chuckled before placing a soft kiss on her head, "You awake Camz?"

"Barely." She breathed onto her neck, the warmth causing Lauren to shiver.

"Dylan just called, they asked me to perform at a charity event at LACMA tonight. I have to take off in a couple of hours and I'll have someone watch you for the rest of the night until I get back, okay?"

Camila reluctantly popped her head up, sleep written all over her face, lips poking out as brown orbs looked into green eyes that melted at the sight of her.

_She IS so fucking adorable. _

"I can't go with you?"

"Nope, doctor's orders."

She began to pout.

"No," Lauren's voice began to lose its strength, "No…no," She shook her head. "Nope."

"Yes…yes." Camila's lips pulled to her brown eyes, nodding up and down, "Yes." She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on the older brunette's lips, lingering as she spoke, "Yeeeesss."

Lauren watched Camila get up, off the bed and head towards the bathroom to wake herself up.

_How am I supposed to say NO to THAT? Wait, wait…if Camz is coming with me, does that mean we're making a public appearance together? I'm expected to walk down the red carpet; there it is again, the nervousness. Are we ready for that, a public appearance together? AM I? They're going to ask soooo many questions and I was just with Amber at the Grammys not too long ago. Well, we were never TOGETHER-together, I have dated a lot of women in the industry, but Camila isn't just ANOTHER girl…UGH! Come on Lauren! Pull yourself together; it's not a big deal! It's kind of a big deal! SHUT UP BRAIN, you think wayyyyyy too much! _

"Hmm, so what are you wearing tonight Lo?" Camila asked leaning against the bathroom doorframe, "that way I know what colors to wear, don't want to match too much." She smiled before heading back into the bathroom.

Lauren exhaled.

_So…I guess you two ARE going together. Shut up brain, seriously. Is THAT really a good idea? It's only been a few days and you're ALREADY making a public appearance with her? Think LAUREN THINK! Probably not._

"My stylist is coming over! So you can just pick out whatever outfit you want to wear and I'll see you inside after the red carpet." her voiced trailed off towards the end of that sentence.

Camila walked out of the bathroom, crossing her arms, a few feet away from the older brunette who continued to sit on the bed, trying not to make eye contact. "So you don't want to go together?" her voice hurt, as she looked down and played with her hair.

_Why doesn't Lauren WANT to go with me? Maybe she doesn't FEEL the way I FEEL about her. _

Lauren swallowed the nervousness in her throat as she quickly stood up, sensing the hurt that echoed through Camila's voice. "Well, I just figured, I mean since I have to be there early because I'm performing and well I don't want you doing anything too strenuous and that way you can get more time to rest and what now."

_And 'WHAT NOT?', way to ramble, nice, way to go Lauren, way to go. _

"It's fine." Camila flashed her a half smile, a disappointed, absolutely hurt, half smile.

"Camz, I just think-" Lauren had no idea what she was going to say, so she was more than happy when the younger girl didn't let her finish.

"I said it's fine." She shook her head slightly, mustering up the best toothless smile she could, but Lauren could see the sadness in her eyes.

_What am I doing? Anyone would be lucky to bring Camila as their date, why am I so scared?_

"We can!" the older brunette blurted out of nowhere as Camila shot her a questioning look. "We can definitely go together."

"NO. I said it's fine, besides, wouldn't want to cramp your image." Camila shot back, not able to contain the hurt, attitude making it's way through.

**~DING-DING-DING~**

"That's probably you're stylist, you better get it." She said numbly walking back into the bathroom and shutting the door.

_GOOD JOB Lauren, good job. _

Lauren let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in and shook her head at her stupidity.

_FUCK!_

She felt like _SHIT_, as she should, for hurting Camila. Her face said it all; her brown, saddened eyes screamed it, even without saying a word. Yes, Lauren felt like _SHIT_.

**A/N: WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? PLEASE REVIEW! I WOULD LOVE SOME FEEDBACK! =D**


	12. Flashing Lights

*****LACMA Charity Event, Los Angeles, CA 7PM*****

Camila and Lauren arrived at the charity event in separate limousines just minutes apart.

"Camila! Camila! You look gorgeous; who are you wearing?" A photographer yelled as the brown-eyed beauty posed with one hand on her hip.

"Versace, genius right?" She said smiling at the group of photographers, along with the crowd of people on hand; everyone absolutely adored her.

Camila wore a long red dress that hugged her body, flowing all the way down to the ground as it flared out, covering her black high heels. She matched it with a gray clutch and gray diamond necklace. Her hair was somewhat slicked back as it rolled down over one side of her shoulders. The younger brunette was no stranger to the red carpet.

"Lauren! Lauren! Over here!"

A group of photographers yelled from every direction as the porcelain-skin girl moved so charismatically down the red carpet, posing for pictures.

Lauren wore a very feminine black pantsuit that was fitted perfectly for every curve she had. It exposed just enough cleavage, very sexy, but still appropriate for the event. Her black-brown hair was slicked back in a low elegant pony that showed her facial features.

She posed for the lights that kept flashing her way. Her head tilted while her lips pulled to her eyes, just slightly, exuding confidence and attitude; she had a bad girl image and they ate it up.

"Lauren! Do you have time for a few questions?"

"Sure, why not?" She smirked and winked into the TV camera.

"Sources say that you were seen entering Dylan Lasner's home to visit Camila Cabello, is this true? Also, that you were at the House of Blues in Anaheim for her EP Performance; are you and Amber Hannan over?" The interviewer asked as Lauren's eyes widened in surprise.

"You're a funny guy, you know that?" She said as she flashed a nervous, but charming smile as she dodged the question.

"Heeeeyyyy, Lauren's needed backstage if you don't mind." Dylan winked at the camera and pulled the green-eyed beauty just in time.

"Dylan! Lauren! This way! Group picture!" Both turned towards the photographers as Dylan placed his arm around Lauren's waist and she did the same; both smiled from ear to ear.

"Thanks for that," She said through her smile.

"Vultures, aren't they?" He winked at her. "Come on, let's get ready backstage and then I'll show you to your seat."

_Where's Camz? There she is. She's so beautiful in her red gown, definitely a sight for sore eyes. Gosh why did I have to be so fucking stupid about coming together! She could be on my arm right now and then people would just KNOW instead of asking me all these ridiculous question._

"Is Camila seated close to me?" she asked Dylan as they entered the building through the back.

"I'm not sure, I think maybe a couple of rows over, close enough I'm sure."

Lauren didn't have much time to enjoy the event as she was asked to present as well as perform a song. She finished her performance, which was scheduled towards the end of the evening. She walked off the stage, towards the back as she took off her earpiece and was greeted by staff members who sang praises for her performance.

"Thank you for doing this last minute, it really means a lot to us and for the kids." The event coordinator said as she shook her hand.

"Anything for the kids, thanks for having me."

She was walking towards her dressing room when she caught a beautiful girl in a red dress from the corner of her eye so she decided to lean her head through the curtain to get a better view. She sighed feeling guilty for what happened earlier and she knew she had to make things right.

_She takes my breath away; she doesn't even know it._

Lauren smiled at the thought, admiring the brown-eyed girl from a distance, taking in all her beauty.

_Who is she talking to? He looks familiar. _

Her eyes narrowed trying to figure out who the younger brunette had been conversing with. He was tall, light brown, almost dirty blonde, hair and he was dressed in a very nice suit. She watched Camila's lips pull to her eyes, showing her pearly whites as she laughed lightly at whatever the man in front of her was saying.

_WHO is that?_

The man pivoted and leaned in to give Camila a kiss on her cheek before turning to pose for some pictures.

_Is that Derek?_

Lauren felt her blood boil as she watched them take pictures. Her hand rolled up into fists as her eyes focused on him. She watched him keep his right hand on the small of Camila's back and she felt the jealousy and rage slowly engulfed her entire body. It took every ounce of strength within her to _NOT_ walk up to him and punch the living shit out of him.

_What is SHE doing with him? What the FUCK! Did she think it was okay to flaunt her fiancé in front of me? Okay, ex-fiancé, but still, what the fuck is THAT all about? This is bullshit! She knows I'm here!_

_**++Flashback: 8 years ago++**_

"I don't like that guy." She stated as she crossed her arms.

Lauren's face was hardened as she perked up an eyebrow. Her green eyes following Camila around the room as she looked for her bracelet.

"What? Who?" The younger brunette asked as she looked under the bed. "Here it is!" She stood up with a smile that slowly turned into a pout when she realized the stone cold expression her girlfriend was wearing.

"Babbbbyyy," she approached the green-eyed girl, putting her arms around her neck, brushing their noses together. "He was just being nice since we sang on the soundtrack for his upcoming movie."

Lauren placed her hands on Camila's hips, "he was being a little _TOO_ nice to you and I hated the way he kept staring at you." She said as she rolled her eyes.

"You're so cute when you're jealous, you know that?" the shorter brunette tiptoed to place a warm, gently kiss on lips that tried to not give in, but it was no use

Camila smiled into her lips and it was too hard to remain stone cold. "I love you Camz."

"I love you too baby." She placed a demanding kiss on the older girl's plump lips. "It doesn't matter if Derek's being 'a little _TOO_ nice' to me and if he 'keeps staring' at me, _I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU_," she lovingly mocked the older brunette as their foreheads touched, eyes locked.

_**++ End Of Flashback ++**_

Lauren wasn't just jealous; she was fucking pissed. She always hated the way Derek would stare at Camila so when she had found out through the tabloids a few years ago that they were together, it completely broke her; she was devastated. It could have been anyone else, _BUT HIM_; she felt betrayed and looking at them now interact, it was like reliving that betrayal all over again.

_FUCK THAT._

Lauren walked into her dressing room as she paced back and forth, anger written all over her.

"Hey Laur, great perform-" Dylan knew his best friend all too well, "Are you okay?"

"Why didn't you fucking tell my Derek Trenton was going to be here?" Her green eyes shot up to meet his in anger.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," He said shaking his head back and forth as he put his hands up, "I had no idea he was going to be here, he must have been added last minute like you. If I knew, you think I would've asked you?" He said as he slowly approached the heated brunette.

"I'm sorry Dylan," She shook her head, her eyes becoming glossy as she held back tears. "You know how I feel about him and seeing him with her, it just, it still kills me." She whispered as a tear fell from her eyes.

Dylan quickly wrapped his arms around his best friend, "I know, I know."

"Ugh, why am I such a mess sometimes?" She said as she wiped her tear with her index finger.

"You're only human, it's okay to not be okay. You don't always have to be so tough all the time." He said squeezing her shoulder, giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Let's get out of here; I just wanna put on some pajamas and eat ice cream, like back in the day."

He began to chuckle, "Whatever you want bud!"

The event had wrapped up as Lauren and Dylan made their way to the seating area of the event to get to their limousine that was waiting just outside.

"Are you gonna be okay?" He asked as he walked beside her, noticing that they had to pass by Camila and Derek to get to their ride.

"Fine."

"Is Camila coming back with us?" He asked, as they were just a few feet away from the two.

"Don't really give a shit where she goes." Anger echoing through her voice as Dylan's eyes grew wide in shock.

Camila's eyes lit up as she noticed the brunette approaching along with Dylan. She loved Lauren's performance and she couldn't wait to let her know.

"Hey Dylan. Lauren." Derek's voice let out.

Dylan stopped to acknowledge his presence and shake his hand while the very enraged brunette kept walking, quickening her pace, which was probably best for all of them.

_FUCK YOU and your fancy suit!_

"Hey Derek, good to see you." His eyes drifted from Derek's down to the set of brown eyes next to him; brown shiny orbs filled with concern as it followed the girl in the pantsuit as she continued down the isle.

Camila took a step around them, "Lauren!"

Lauren didn't stop walking; in fact, she walked a little faster.

"Sorry guys, Lauren isn't feeling too well, she ate something." Camila could see right through him. "I gotta go."

Dylan walked down the isle towards the door when he was spun around by Camila grabbing his arm, "Dylan, what's going on?"

"Lauren doesn't feel well." His eyes drifted from hers and then to Derek, back to her.

"You're not a very good liar." She said as her eyes pleaded.

"Look Mila, maybe you should stay with Jason tonight, he's in the back still."

"Lauren's upset isn't she?" She said as she bit her bottom lip, eyes beginning to tear up.

"Just give her some space. Mila I gotta go, Lauren's waiting for me." He gave her a quick hug before making his exit.

Camila's eyes were locked on the exit for a few seconds; she didn't realize tears were streaming down her face. Her heart was aching and she couldn't pull her thoughts together. She was terrified, terrified of losing the love of her life all over again.


	13. Last Night

Dylan hopped in the limo as he stared at his best friend in silence. He began to notice that their surroundings weren't that of what they normally would see going from LACMA to his home.

"Laur, this isn't the way to my house." He finally broke the silence as green eyes went from staring out the window to meet his.

"I changed my mind." She shrugged.

"Where exactly are we going?" He perked up an eyebrow as he watched her open a bottle of alcohol, Jamison to be exact and chug it down.

"The Red Room." She said with a smile as she scooted closer and handed him a bottle of patron. "Hey, I'm single, we're in our twenties, fuck going home!" She said raising her bottle as Dylan shrugged his shoulder as he held his bottle of patron up as she held her bottle of Jamison.

_Fuck feelings. Fuck emotions. Fuck love. I don't care. I don't care, after this bottle I REALLY won't care. Fuck Derek!_

Lauren was filled with anger at the thought of Camila talking to Derek, laughing at whatever he was saying, him giving her a peck on the cheek, posing for pictures. His hand on the small of her back; she was disgusted. She wanted to drown out her feelings more than anything and hey, she's been doing okay without Camila for the last 6 years, so she wanted to do the one thing that numbed her feelings for the brown-eyes girl...at least temporarily.

_Fuck that! Feelings never helped anyone out anyways! No need!_

"To our twenties and to not giving a flying fuck!" Lauren's lips pulled to a smirk, the porcelain-skinned girl was clearly a little tipsy and running on heightened emotions.

"To living the life!" Dylan said with a smile before they both clanked their bottles together and chugged down what seemed to be a couple more shots worth of liquor.

*****The Next Morning, 9AM*****

_Shit, where the hell am I?_

Lauren popped her head up from the pillow she was sleeping on as she slowly opened her eyes. She could smell the disgusting odor of body sweat, alcohol and sex.

_What the hell did I do last night?_

She thought to herself as she grabbed her head in pain. She quickly got up and began to put her clothes back on that were all over the place but in sight. The girl she had apparently slept with was still knocked out and she was very thankful for that's She walked into the bathroom, phone in hand.

"Dylan, I need you to send a ride to pick me up." She whispered.

"Where the hell are you? God Laur! You disappeared on me last night!" He yelled, but in a whisper

"I don't wanna talk about it right now." She said as she glanced at the sample soaps on the bathroom. "I guess I'm at the Hilton in L.A."

"Alright, the car will be there in a few minutes." He continued to whisper.

"Okay, I KNOW why I'M whispering...why the heck are YOU whispering?" She asked confused.

"Laur."

"I'm waiting," she responded tapping her fingers lightly on the sink counter.

"Mila's here waiting for you." He whispered in an urgent tone.

"What?"

_SHIT._

"She felt bad about last night and came to surprise you this morning." His whisper softer.

Lauren felt her stomach turn and her heart ache. She was still angry about last night, but to do THIS, Lauren felt like a shitty person.

_Pull it together Jauregui._

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her you needed some time alone so you slept in your house in Malibu and that you'd be here soon."

"Thanks Dylan." she said as she closed her eyes for a few seconds, taking in deep breaths. "Hey Dylan..."

"Yea?"

"Make sure the drivers brings me a change of clothes and some aspirin. I'll see you soon."

"Alright, no prob, but I won't be here Laur, I have a meeting with my new band."

"Okay, I'll see you later then."

The entire ride back to the house, Lauren kept contemplating on exactly WHY Camila was there to see her. She had inkling, but she still didn't know. The older brunette's anger had finally calmed down and waking up next to, quite honestly, she didn't know who she woke up next to and it made her feel like guilty.

_What did I do? You KNOW what you DID! _

Lauren planted her face in her hands shaking her head back and forth.

_Why do I make impulsive, stupid decisions when I'm angry? WHY? It's fine, it'll a be fine, just hear Camila out and go from there._

She took a deep breath before changing into the clothes Dylan had sent. She popped a mint in her mouth, sprayed some body spray on herself and ran her hands through her hair.

*****Lasner Residence, Brentwood, CA 10AM*****

Lauren quietly opened the door and headed towards the living room to see the girl that she loved so much sitting on the couch, reading the morning paper.

"Hey Camz," she said leaning against the wall, admiring her from a few feet away.

Camila jumped to her feet and ran towards the older brunette throwing her arms around her neck and placing a needing kiss on her lips.

"I'm so, so, so, sorry about last night Lauren. Can you forgive me?" She said as she placed her forehead against the older girl's; hopeful brown eyes stared into Lauren's.

"Uh, yeah, yeah of cour-course." She stuttered out with a half smile.

_I. AM. A. TERRIBLE. PERSON._

Camila tiptoed to brush their lips together once again. "Yeah? You forgive me?"

"Yeah." Lauren breathed out.

She could feel her stomach physically hurt as if someone was taking two hands and twisting her insides as if trying to dry a towel.

"I didn't even think about your feelings and how it would affecttt-" before Camila could finish the green-eyed beauty pulled her into an eager kiss.

Their lips caressed one another aggressively as Lauren's strong arms pulled the younger girl closer to her body, around a tightly wrapped around her waist. She was eager to stop her from apologizing because the reality of the situation...Camila didn't do anything wrong and Lauren slept with some random girl out of anger, impulse and lets face it, a _SHIT TON_ of alcohol.

They finally parted as both girls were panting for air. "Come here." Camila said intertwining their fingers and dragging Lauren towards the kitchen.

Her eyes grew wide and when she saw that Camila had made her breakfast.

"I made you coffee too and I picked those flowers out myself." She said proudly as she smiled into Lauren's green eyes.

"I don't know what to say Camz." Lauren's could feel her heart racing and t wasn't the good kind of racing.

She felt guilty.

"Don't say anything," Camila said pulling a chair out for her, flashing her a goofy face and gesturing for her to sit down.

Lauren sat down as Camila stood behind her, her arms around her neck, bending down to kiss her on the cheek before resting her chin on Lauren's shoulder.

Lauren was physically sick; she felt nauseas. She seriously thought she was going to throw up before taking a bite of anything.

_I know we're not officially together but I FUCKED UP. Camz can't find out about what happened last night. She can't._

Lauren grabbed both of Camila's hands that dangled in front of her as her arms wrapped around her neck and brought it to her lips and placed a kiss on them.

_I don't deserve you._

**A/N: Thank you for the Guest Review! It prompted me to update sooner than later! Please review and let me know what you guys think! =)**


	14. A Good Morning

*****One Week Later: Cabello Residence, Newport Coast, CA*** **

Camila was gently awakened by the sun's rays that penetrated through the floor to ceiling windows as it caressed her entire naked body; warmth taking over every part of her exposed flesh as she unhurriedly flickered her eyes open. Her light brown eyes naturally constricted when met with the sun's bright beams. She propped herself up, holding both arms in the morning air, stretching them as she let out a feeble yawn. The corner of her lips tugged to her eyes as her stare landed on the fair-skinned girl lying next to her. She moderately snickered at the fact that the older brunette had hogged the covers, but only covered her bottom half, leaving her smooth bare back exposed. She surveyed the girl that slept on her front side, while the right side of her face gently rested on the pillow with her arms down her sides. Brown, loving, orbs admired the beautiful, porcelain-skinned body next to her that softly moved rhythmically along with her breathing. Camila's heart swelled taking in the sight next to her, from her milk chocolate locks that draped over her right shoulder, partially caressing her naked back to her lips that slightly parted while she slept, to her smooth back that the sun kissed, making it warmer than it naturally was already. She smiled as she pushed back a few stray hairs off of Lauren's face, revealing tiny freckles that were barely noticeable and her eyelashes that naturally curled; she was beautiful, even in her sleep. She lightly bit her bottom lip as she continued to examine the natural beauty, not believing her vision at times, as she was taken aback by the girl next to her. Yes, she took in every little detail that laid next to her; encompassing her in it's entirety. She was definitely in love with Lauren; it was irrefutable.

_She is so breathtaking even in her sleep; I am so in love with this girl. _

Camila tenderly stroked Lauren's face with the back of her fingers; porcelain skin radiated heat to her fingers, throughout her entire body with just a simple touch.

She bent down to place her eager lips against the sleeping girl's earlobe, gently kissing it. "Loooo." She whispered, almost soundlessly before planting another kiss, but this time on the older brunette's nude shoulder, leaving her lips to linger, causing the older girl to whimper, still with her eyes closed.

"mmmhhhmm," Lauren faintly let out as she turned over, her eyelids fluttering open, unveiling, scintillating green eyes, inducing the younger brunette to smile from ear to ear.

Camila brushed her lips against warm, plump lips, "Good." Peck. "Morning." Peck. "Babe." Peck.

Lauren's lips pulled to her eyes, her face resembling that of a child on Christmas morning, "good morning is an understatement."

She grabbed Camila, prompting her to straddle the green-eyed beauty, placing her knees on either side of Lauren's body as their lips meshed together fervidly. The fair-skinned girl settled her hands on the brown-eyed beauty's waist, gripping her naked flesh with her fingers as they continued to kiss intensely, lips molding as if vital for each other's survival. Lips unwillingly surrendered as oxygen became imperative for both girls. Camila cupped Lauren's face with both hands, staring into shimmering bright green eyes, her own brown orbs expressing emotion. She bent down to kiss the girl beneath her, their lips grazing one another passionately.

***** Recording Studio, Burbank CA*****

Lauren visited Jason and Dylan to listen to their new band's album before it was to be released.

"So, how are things going?" Dylan asked as he played with the control panels, mixing the sounds as he moved his head to the beat.

"Amazing, I'm so happy." His best friend replied while a smile spread across her face as she stared into thin air.

_She makes me SO happy; I love her so much. _

"I can tell." He said catching a glimpse of her face. "So what do you think of the band? It's not the finished product yet, but it's almost there!"

"I really like their overall sound, especially track three, that was really good!" She exclaimed bopping her head to the music playing.

Jason walked into the studio as he shut the door behind him, with sample in hand, "hey Laur, check this out." He tossed the disc to Dylan for him to play.

"Wow Jason, this beat is ridiculously good! Tell me it's for me!" Her eyes grew wide, knowing she _WANTED_ to write to the music playing.

"Yeah it's for you." He said with a smile.

'Yes! I can't wait to start recording again; I'm having withdrawals and I have so many ide-" Lauren was interrupted by the sound of the door slamming against the wall as it was abruptly pushed open.

Camila walked in the studio frigidly, brown eyes apprehensive; her whole body uneasy.

Three sets of eyes landed on her, but she was only aware of the green ones staring at her with concern.

Lauren walked to close the distance between them, "Baby are you okay?" she asked extending her hand only to be rejected as the younger brunette shook her head and took a step back.

Camila threw the tabloid on the coffee table, "tell me it's not true Lauren," Her brown eyes becoming glossy as they held back tears, "tell me it's not true."

Lauren was confused as her eyes gawked at the magazine thrown on the table with the headline:

**::EXCLUSIVE! Lauren Jauregui Seen Leaving The Hilton Hotel After Her One Night Rendezvous With Red Room Bartender::**

Her heart began to ache, the pain suddenly hitting her heart, not because she felt her entire world shattering, but because she had caused the love of her life pain. She knew it, looking at Camila, she knew it; it was evident.

Lauren's breathing picked up as she closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms around the shaken brunette, "Camz."

Camila used all her strength, pressing both palms of her hands against Lauren's chest as she pushed her away. "No!" She shook her head as tears streaked down her face. "Tell me it's not true Lauren, tell me!" her voice trembled as she bit her bottom lip, her breathing uncontrolled.

"Camz I-I," her voice cracking, eyes beginning to water. "I was so upset about you and Derek that night, I wasn't thinking and I made a mistake, I'm so sorr-sorry. Camz?"

"You slept with someone else because you were upset, because you thought something was happening when it wasn't!" Camila yelled in anger between sobs; tears flowing freely as she headed for the door.

Lauren stepped in front of the younger girl, dropped to her knees as her arms wrapped around her legs, head against the younger brunette, "Camila please, I made a mistake, please." Her voice pleaded with a sense of urgency. "Please."

Camila looked down, barely able to see through her flooded eyes as she shook her head as if to say no; she stepped away from Lauren's grip, eyeing the girl she loved in front of her, she was broken, her heart was broken, "thank you for ridding me of this ridiculous notion that you actually love me." She said numbly before walking out the door.

Lauren dropped to the floor, curling her body in the fetal position, wrapping her arms around her shivering body as the floodgates opened and tears streamed down her face. Pain pierced through her entire body like a million knives piercing through flesh; the reality quickly sinking in. She lost her. She lost Camila.

_What have I done. _

**A/N: Let me know what you think! The more reviews, the faster i'll update! Thanks for the support! =)**


	15. Broken

*****Two Weeks Later, Cabello Residence, Newport Coast, CA*****

It was a beautiful day in Southern California. It must have been between seventy-three to seventy-eight degrees with a mild coastal breeze; it was perfect.

Camila sat with her legs crossed on her patio furniture that surrounded a table on her balcony as she wrote in her journal, admiring the ocean view in front of her. Writing was the only thing that helped her express her emotions besides actually singing. She was devastated when she found out that Lauren had slept with someone else and to make things worse, she found out from the tabloids. Yes, they weren't officially together, but the younger brunette thought they were heading in that direction and now everything is broken and she doesn't know if it can be fixed. She hasn't taken any phone calls, texts, or any sort of communication from the green-eyed beauty. Lauren had tried everything and anything, but Camila denied all contact; her brain wanted nothing to do with her, but her heart, her heart was another story.

_Out of sight out if mind; come on heart, get with the program!_

She thought to herself as she exhaled.

Camila felt betrayed, angry, hurt. The thought of Lauren being with someone else made her cringe, but even worse broke her heart. The younger brunette would sporadically burst into tears the last two weeks; not wanting to see or speak with anyone. It was a constant battle for her, choosing between what her mind was telling her and what her heart kept whispering. Yes, she was in pain but it didn't change the fact that she was still very much in love with the porcelain-skinned girl. Lauren was finally back in her life and then she does _THIS_! It was as if the pieces were coming together and she decided to throw it all away; Camila didn't know what to do. She was torn.

Camila closed her eyes; her face tilted towards the sun, letting the warmth it radiated caress her skin. "Hey cousin." Her eyes opened as she heard the familiar voice; a faint smile spread across her face as Jason walked through the living room and out onto the balcony.

"Hi Jay." She stood up to give him a hug.

"I see Lauren is still apologizing," his eyes widened as he gestured towards Camila's living room filled with flowers, teddy bears, cards, sweets, pretty much anything and everything a person could think of to send; it was piling up in her living room. "As she should be."

Camila turned her eyes towards the ocean as she let out a sigh. She was hurting; even at the mention of the older brunette's name; it tugged at her heartstrings.

Tears began to form as she closed her eyes shut, willing them to go away.

_Not right now, not today, please don't cry today. _

"Mila, you okay?" She felt a hand rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah." She quickly got up and wiped the tear that fell. "I'm fine."

She knew her cousin could see right through her. "It's okay if you're not fine Camila." He said shooting her a concerned look.

Camila's eyes were tired as they met her cousin's. They had cried, everyday they had cried and the bags under them were very much visible. She had been restless for many nights now and it was starting to take a toll on the twenty five year old, not just physically, but mentally.

_Please don't cry, not now, please. _

Jason quickly stepped towards his cousin, catching her before she collapsed to the floor. Her fingers gripped his arms, but she had no strength left, her sobs echoed into his shirt as she buried her face. She couldn't stop crying; she'd been alone for the last two weeks and seeing her cousin, him saying _HER_ name aloud, it brought the torment of _HER_ dishonesty to existence; it was absolute and the agony was undeniable.

*****One Week Later, Jauregui Residence, Malibu, CA 7AM*****

Dylan walked in kicking debris out of the way with his feet as he walked through the green-eyed girl's home.

"What the fuck?" He whispered in disgust.

He looked around for Lauren, but couldn't find her anywhere. "Laur!" He finally made his way towards the balcony.

All he could see was an arm holding a beer, dangling off of a chair as he approached the brunette girl who was still very much intoxicated.

"Shit, Laur," He kneeled down and grabbed the beer bottle and placed it on the floor. "Lauren, Lauren, can you hear me?"

The green-eyed girl didn't acknowledge his presence; she had her beanie pulled over her eyes with her body lying limp. Dylan would've thought she was dead except for the fact that she tried to reach for another beer, but couldn't locate one since her eyes were covered.

He pulled her beanie off her eyes and tossed it to the side, "Lauren."

"What the fuck!" She said angrily, throwing her arm across her eyes.

"I take it Camila is _STILL_ not talking to you." He spat at his best friend; repulsed by her surroundings and current state.

She finally made eye contact, green-gray orbs trying to puncture him if they could, "_FUCK. YOU. DYLAN_." Her tone was venomous as she flipped him the bird.

"Lauren, seriously, get your shit together!" He kicked a bottle out of the way; the only noise was it rolling to the side.

He kneeled down next to her, looking into exhausted eyes that barely opened. But beyond that, emerald gems disclosed agony, torment, suffering and remorse. Lauren was heartbroken and in his eyes, it was as if he was looking at the same twenty year old who got _HER_ heartbroken, her own compulsion causing her misery now.

_**+++Flashback: 6 Years Ago+++**_

*****Madrid, Spain*****

Dylan found Lauren on the floor of her hotel room, rolled up in a ball clutching something against her chest; her whimpers quiet, but he knew she was crying. He had become worried when she didn't show up to their recording session and she didn't pick up her phone, which was not like her.

He picked his best friend up in his arms and rested her on the bed. He held her in his arms, trying to calm her down.

"Shhhh, you're okay Laur, you're okay." He wiped the sweat off her forehead and stayed with her until she fell asleep.

Her breathing finally steadied as he got up and tucked the covers around her body. He noticed the thing she was holding onto so tightly was a picture. He carefully removed the picture she had held so tightly against her heart, observing it with his own eyes.

It was an older picture; Lauren must have been seventeen at the most, Camila sixteen. Camila had on a red windbreaker type of jacket, her hair flowing loosely and she was kissing Lauren, who had her hair in a loose pony, on the cheek with her eyes closed. Her arms wrapped around the older brunette who wore a white long sleeve along with a smile plastered across her face; they were so happy.

He took one more look at his best friend who was now sleeping peacefully before he let out a sigh and placed the picture on her nightstand.

_**+++End of Flashback+++**_

"Laur, look, I'm sorry, but the world doesn't stop turning because you're heartbroken." He said flashing her a sympathetic look; he knew he had to be the voice of reason, even if the older brunette didn't want to hear it. "I love you, I know you're hurting, but your fans are expecting you to be at The Wiltern tomorrow night and they deserve you at your best Lauren." He said squeezing her arm.

"Come on, let's get you in the shower and I'll brew some coffee, you _HAVE_ to rehearse today, you haven't rehearsed in weeks." He said drawing her arm around his neck, helping her up.

*****Sound Check, The Wiltern, Los Angeles, CA 5PM*****

"Is Lauren here?" Jason asked with his eyebrows scrunched, his eyes searching for the porcelain-skinned girl.

"Yeah," he said pointing to the figure approaching the center of the stage.

"How's she doing?"

"She's here, but I don't think she's _HERE_, know what I mean?" Dylan said, concern written all over his face.

Jason nodded as he began to mess with the keyboard, making sure the tune was right.

"Dylan," both of them turned towards the girl standing center stage as she placed her earpiece in.

"Yeah Laur?" He asked as she stood by the control panels.

"Remember that song," she furrowed her eyebrows in thought, "the one I wrote in Spain?"

They've written and produced so many songs together, but he knew exactly which one she was talking about; he simply nodded at her, remembering the heartache she poured out in that song.

"Can you play the music to it; I want to warm up my vocal chords to it." She gave him a faint smile.

Dylan messed with the control panels and the music started playing, both sets of eyes turning their attention towards the green-eyed girl who brought the mic to her lips…

_**I remember what you wore on the first day**_

_**You came into my life and I thought**_

_**"Hey, you know, this could be something"**_

_**'Cause everything you do and words you say**_

_**You know that it all takes my breath away**_

_**And now I'm left with nothing**_

_**So maybe it's true**_

_**That I can't live without you**_

_**Maybe two is better than one**_

_**There's so much time**_

_**To figure out the rest of my life**_

_**And you've already got me coming undone**_

_**And I'm thinking two is better than one**_

_**I remember every look upon your face**_

_**The way you roll your eyes**_

_**The way you taste**_

_**You make it hard for breathing**_

_**'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away**_

_**I think of you and everything's okay**_

_**I'm finally now believing**_

_**That maybe it's true**_

_**That I can't live without you**_

_**Maybe two is better than one**_

_**There's so much time**_

_**To figure out the rest of my life**_

_**And you've already got me coming undone**_

_**And I'm thinking two is better than one**_

_**Yeah, yeah**_

_**I remember what you wore on the first day**_

_**You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"**_

_**maybe it's true**_

_**That I can't live without you**_

_**Maybe two is better than one**_

_**There's so much time**_

_**To figure out the rest of my life**_

_**And you've already got me coming undone**_

_**And I'm thinking**_

_**I can't live without you**_

_**'Cause, baby, two is better than one**_

_**There's so much time**_

_**To figure out the rest of my life**_

_**But I'll figure it out**_

_**When all is said and done**_

_**Two is better than one**_

_**Two is better than one**_

They watched her finish the song, still with her eyes closed, her face dropping down towards the ground, a tear falling from her face, hitting the stage as she dropped her mic, the sound of the mic hitting the floor echoing throughout the empty theatre.

**A/N: Give me some Feedback people! I'll update faster ;) promise! **


	16. All Back

*****Cabello Residence, Newport Coast, CA*****

Camila hadn't been out in weeks, sure she's been out to run errands and what not, but she hasn't been around people much. Today she felt okay enough to get up out of bed and support her cousin. Jason had been trying to get the brown-eyed beauty to L.A. to check out their new band during their recording sessions, but she hasn't been able to. She could hardly get out of bed without crying let alone all the way out to Los Angeles.

She wanted to let herself feel; _REALLY_ feel. She wanted the pain to consume her because she knew that trying to suppress it would result in something more catastrophic down the line; she knew it all too well.

*****Flashback 6 Years Ago*****

Camila hasn't had contact with Lauren since she's been overseas; it's been a few weeks and feeling like she's been left in the dust was slowly surfacing. She tried to control her emotions, which she's always been good at, but with the green-eyed girl, control never really lasted too long; not even for the usually calm and collected Camila.

"Where the hell is Camila? She's late again." Shannon, her manger, rolled her hands into fists, visibly angry.

Camila walked into the studio late; she looked like she just rolled out of bed and had a pair of sunglasses on.

"Are you serious Camila? This is the third time you've been late this week! How the hell are we ever going to get this album in done? If _YOU_, the singer, aren't _HERE_!" Shannon was fuming and all Jason could do was look from Camila to Shannon; waiting for a world war of some sort to break out any second.

The nineteen year old slowly took off her glasses revealing tired brown eyes that have been crying and pinched the bridge of her nose as she began to chuckle.

"You know _WHAT _Shannon, you're right it's _MY_ album; the fans, they want me singing, so why don't you get your head out of your ass and just shut the _FUCK UP_! I'm here aren't I?! I'm here!" She threw here arms up!

Shannon's mouth dropped along with Jason's; Camila has never spoken this way and they were both speechless.

"Oh second," she placed her glasses back on her face, "I'm taking the day off; I'm outta here."

"Mila!" Jason yelled but she was already halfway out the door.

He knew why she was acting the way she was.

"What about the album?" Shannon yelled while running towards the door.

Camila ignored both of them, jumped in her convertible and sped off.

*****End of Flashback*****

Camila hopped in her car, top down and put on her favorite pair of Ray Ban Aviators on and her carry on bag in tact since she would be staying with Jason for a couple of days while recording in L.A.

There's something about driving on a Saturday morning that put her in a relaxed state. Maybe it was the wind in her dark chocolate locks, or the sun caressing her skin or the music that would play on the radio, it was a mixture and she absolutely loves it.

*****Recording Studio, Burbank CA 9AM*****

Camila walked in soundlessly, her eyes glancing at her favorite men on the control panels, as usual, to the band in the recording booth. She approached silently and placed a hand on both Jason and Dylan's shoulder, letting them know she was there.

"Alight guys, take fifteen!" Dylan said into the speaker as the band made their way out.

"Wow guys! They sound _REALLY_ good." She said with a really big smile.

"Thanks cousin." Jason stood up to pull her into a gigantic hug. "I'm gonna grab something to eat really quick from downstairs, do you two want anything?"

"No I'm fine." Camila said as Dylan waved his hand as if to say no while he kept his eyes on the control panels.

Camila walked the couple of steps and threw her arms around Dylan, "I missed you." She kissed the top of his head before taking a seat next to him.

"Missed you too Mila," his gaze finally turned to towards her, "how have you been."

She just have him a half smile in response.

"Well, if it means anything, it's bad Mila." He shook his head as he pressed his lips together, "I've never seen her like this."

That's a lie, Dylan _HAS_ seen her like this, when the two brunettes first fell out of contact, but he wasn't gonna tell _HER_ that.

Camila swiveled her chair to break eye contact as she began to mess with the control panel, "not my problem." She shrugged coldly trying her best not to let her feelings show.

Even though she was in pain, knowing Lauren was in agony broke her heart even more and all her heart wanted to do the last few weeks was find the porcelain-skinned girl, look into her glistening green eyes, throw her arms around her, attack her with kisses and forgive her, but she wasn't going to tell _HIM _that. That was her_ HEART_, her head on the other hand was repulsed by thought of what Lauren did and still very much focused on the hurt the green-eyed girl had caused her.

Dylan abruptly stood up, pushed his chair to the side, " really Mila? Really? You don't care?" His tone was stern as he crossed her arms.

"What do you want me to say Dylan, she slept with someone else!" Her anger was coming through full force.

"What Lauren did wasn't right, I _KNOW_ that, but you have to take some responsibility too."

_RESPONSIBILITY TOO? What's that supposed to mean?_

He lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. "I know you're hurting too and as much as you want to stand here and tell me you _DONT CARE_, I know you do."

Tears began to form in Camila's eyes as the words hit her hard.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked as he flashed her a smile extending both arms to grab hold of her shoulders.

Camila nodded up and down, trying desperately to hold back her tears.

"Lauren and I had been fighting, we were what, about sixteen and well we're both stubborn so I sure as hell wasn't apologizing, " he began to tell her, "I was at her house for a family party and I was walking to the bathroom when she walked out of her room, it was weird, she hadn't come out the entire night. I looked into her eyes and I could tell she had been crying and you know Lauren's like a sister to me and once I saw her eyes I walked up to her and just threw my arms around her and hugged her as tight as I could. You wanna know why she was crying? She realized she was in love with her best friend and she didn't know how to deal with it and I'm not talking about me either."

Camila couldn't hold the tears as they started streaming down her face as she began to sob.

Dylan pulled her into his arms, "look Mila, I know you're hurt and I'm not saying what Lauren did was okay because it's not. What I think I'm trying to say is that look she had when she was sixteen is the exact same look I saw on her yesterday. I've never seen Lauren look at anyone the way she looks at you Camila." They finally parted far enough to meet each other's eyes, "just hear her out."

Camila smacked Dylan in the arm as she tried to control her breathing, "I hate you!" She playfully said.

"You _LOOOOOVVVVEEE_ me." He smiled at her.

"I do love you," her lips pulling to her eyes.

"Look, maybe you should come by The Wiltern tonight, you were planning on going before, you know."

"I don't know Dylan, I made plans already, but we'll see. Gosh look what you did, now I'm in tears and my make up must be crap by now!" She began to chuckle.

"Your make up was crap before." He said playfully as he pulled her into an embrace, "oh one more thing..."

"What Dylan?"

"Do _NOT_ tell Lauren I told you that story when we were sixteen, she'd _KILL_ me!"

Camila began to chuckle, "I can't make any promises."

*****The Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, CA 9PM*****

"Gosh you guys are an amazing crowd!" The older brunette exclaimed with enthusiasm as she flashed her fans a huge smile, hand on her hip, "don't tell the other cities, but L.A. Is my favorite." She winked at them as they erupted in cheers and whistles.

Camila's lips pulled to her eyes as she laughed to herself. She didn't plan on coming tonight, but she was there, leaning over the rail of the mezzanine area. There was really no other reason except for the fact that she'd missed _HER,_ her long wavy locks that contrasted perfectly with her fair skin, her red full lips that showed off her pearly whites, she sighed at the thought of her smile and how much she'd miss Lauren smiling at her. It was really hard to pinpoint what she missed the most about the stunning brunette that her brown eyes were locked on as she pranced around the stage, but if she had to choose, well there's not much of a competition there. It would be her breathtaking emerald eyes and she missed looking into them and the way they would make her heart skip a beat.

"Alright, one more question then back to the music!" She said pointing towards the back to a fan as a stage crewmember handed him a mic.

"I love you Lauren!" The fan said.

"I love you too baby." She shot back with a wink.

"You've been doing this for a decade now," the fan began to say, "what's the best thing your career has ever given you?"

_THATS A GOOD QUESTION._

Camila became uneasy, her eyes narrowing towards the green-eyed beauty, waiting for her to answer.

Lauren brought the mic to her lips, "besides my fans," the crowd 'awwwed' in unison, she paused, she was in deep thought, "it allowed me to know what love was or really _IS_; because of my career, I fell in love with my best friend." She said with a full blown smile spread across her face and for that split second she didn't feel the pain of knowing she ruined what _THEY HAD, COULD'VE HAD_ by sleeping with someone else.

Camila could feel her heart pumping faster; she had to bring her hand to her chest as if trying to keep her heart in place, it was pumping so fast.

"Are you talking about Camila Cabello?!" A random person, probably a fan of hers since her Fifth Harmony days, screamed just loud enough to catch the older brunette's attention. "Come on Lauren was CAMREN REAL?! TELL US!"

She smiled, "just between you and me," she said into her mic, "and the few thousand others here, _YEAH_."

Camila's eyes grew wide at the older girls confession to the entire crowd, her eyes began to water; she was feeling overwhelmed as emotions and memories flooded her entire body

"Alright, alright, settle down." Lauren joked, "since you guys have been ridiculously amazing, I'm gonna sing a song I wrote a couple of days ago." She placed her mic on the stand as she ran her hand through her brown locks, winking at the crowd.

**Ohhhhh, oh oh oh oh**

**If I have a moment, I'd capture that moment**

**You would be right here next to me**

**If I have the secret, the secret to your love**

**I would plant your treasure beneath my heart**

**Lock it all up and throw away the key**

**I would never give it up**

**'Cause I was just a fool, a fool for you**

**When I loved you so childishly.**

**And I want it all back**

**I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all back**

**I want it all back**

**I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all**

**You never miss a good thing 'til it's gone,**

**I want it all, now I want it all.**

Lauren sang the song with everything she'd been feeling inside and to sum it up, it was regret and she wanted Camila back.

**If there is a green light, and it's about to turn yellow**

**Pedal to the floor cause I know your heart is turning red**

**If I have the minutes, I would turn 'em into hours**

**And make love to your mind and not your body instead**

**I was just a fool, a fool for you,**

**That didn't know what had I until I lost you**

**Now every single moment that you're not here, yeah**

**It's evident to me that everything just seems so clear.**

Lauren's eyes scanned the crowd when her shocked green eyes locked with glossy brown ones. She was surprised, she hadn't spoken to her in weeks and now she's here.

_CAMZ? Shes here, she's here; I've missed her so much. She's staring right at me. Keep singing; just keep singing. _

**And I want it all back (I'd rather have it all)**

**(Baby come back here)**

**I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all back**

**I want it all back, I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all**

**You never miss a good thing 'til it's gone,**

**I want it all, now I want it all.**

She was happy to see the younger girl, but she knew she hurt her; caused her so much pain.

**Now everything isn't everything,**

**If everything, everything**

**Isn't with you, yeah**

**Now I want it all back,**

**I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all back**

**I want it all back,**

**I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all**

**You never miss a good thing 'til it's gone, I want it all,**

**Now I want it all back, now I want it all back,**

**Now I want it all back, now I want it all back**

Lauren wanted to fall to her knees then and there and just start balling in front of the brown-eyed girl that held every fiber of her being, but she didn't, she couldn't, not in front of fans.

Lauren closed her eyes for less than a second to regain her strength. She could hear the crowd cheer as she took in a deep breath. She opened her eyes and she felt a sharp pain pierce her heart; Camila was gone.

She ran backstage, through the halls and out the exit.

"Camila!" She could see the brown-eyed girl opening the door to her car, "Camz!" Lauren ran towards her, glossy brown eyes meeting hers for the first time in weeks and it killed Lauren to see her brown eyes this way.

_She's crying; I'm always making her cry._

Lauren felt the ache run through her entire body at the thought of always being the reason Camila was hurt.

"What are you doing?" The taller brunette asked, they were just inches apart.

Camila sniffled, "well, to be honest I wanted to make a quick getaway but you caught me." She gave Lauren a half smile.

The green-eyed girl was a little relieved that the younger brunette was actually talking to her. "I meant it Camz, every word of that song, I meant it and I'm so sorry." Lauren began to cry as she grabbed hold of Camila's arms. "Please Camz, I made a mistake, I love you so much." She buried her face on Camila's shoulder as the younger girl wrapped her arms around her. "Just tell me how to fix it, please, tell me I can fix it, I love you so much." She managed to let out in between uncontrolled breaths and sobs as she continued to hold onto Camila tightly.

_SHE LOVES ME, I knew but I haven't heard her say it since we were younger, she LOVES me._

Camila took a step back, cupping Lauren's face so she could look into her eyes. "You love me?" Her voice was faint through her own sobs.

"Of course I do." She answered instantaneously, green eyes completely vulnerable, conveying every feeling she's been holding onto for the last few weeks.

Camila took a few seconds, she didn't say a word; she just looked into watery green eyes and she knew looking into _HER _eyes how much Lauren loved her and how much _SHE_ loved Lauren.

"Ugh!" She said in frustration cracking a small smile, "why do I love you so much?" She shook her head, cupping Lauren's cheeks, almost squeezing them.

"Same reason I love you so much," Lauren brought her forehead to Camila's.

"This isn't easy for me Lauren, you really hurt me," her voice cracked.

"I know, I know I did Camz," Lauren intertwined their fingers. "But I'm gonna earn your trust back, your heart back," she placed her hand over Camila's heart, feeling her heart beat, "_ALL_ of your heart." Her green eyes softened.

Camila placed her hand on Lauren's hand that was on her heart, "oh, so you think you're just that _AMAZING_ that you can just win _ALL_ of my heart back." The younger girl said playfully as she brought Lauren's hands to her lips.

"I'm _NOT_, but I know _YOU'RE_ that_ AMAZING_ and winning _ALL_ of your _HEART_ and _TRUST _back is the only option for me," she kissed Camila's hands, letting her lips linger.

Lauren slowly brought her hand down off her lips, cupped her face with her other hand and leaned in slightly. She has missed Camila's soft, tender lips for so long now. She wanted to feel them on hers. She wanted red, full, luscious lips on hers; she wanted to taste her...

**~SMACK~**

Camila's head snapped towards the backstage door; Lauren's eyes were wide, she was frustrated and about ready to kill whoever just opened the door.

"Lauren!" Dylan yelled.

Lauren shot Dylan the **ARE YOU KIDDING ME** look.

"Your fans want an encore." He tilted his head towards the stage.

"Ahhh yeah, yeah I'll be right there."

Lauren turned her attention back Camila, green loving eyes locked with bright brown ones.

"Go, don't leave your fans waiting." She said brushing fair skin with the back of her hand.

Lauren held on to her hands a little tighter, not wanting to let go.

"Gooooo." Camila let out, not really wanting the moment to end.

Lauren kissed her hand one more time, back pedaling towards the door and only letting go of her hand when she was too far from the younger girl to keep holding on to it.

Camila turned to walk towards her car, nearing the door, "Camz!"

She turned around, her brown shimmering orbs were met with glistening green eyes, "just so you know, when I have all of your heart back, I'm not letting it go this time."

Camila watched the door close behind the girl she loved, as the words 'not letting it go this time' echoed throughout her entire body.

**A/N: Thanks for Reading! FEEDBACK! FEEDBACK! It fuels me! ;)**


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